The instruction not to provoke the descendants of Esav reminds us that despite strife, there is always potential for family members to reconcile.

MosheRabbenu (our teacher) begins his valedictory address with the first parasha of D'varim.
He's giving the final instructions before the reins of leadership are transferred to Yehoshua [Joshua]. In the course of describing the history of the land to which they are about to return, Moshe warns them in the following verses that they are not to provoke the descendents of Esav [Esau].

Devarim 2:2-5

Then the Lord said to me: You have been skirting this hill country long enough now turn north. And charge the people as follows: You will be passing through the territory of your kinsmen, the descendants of Esav, who live in Seir. Though they will be afraid of you, be very careful not to provoke them. For I will not give you of their land so much as a foot can tread on...

Your Torah Navigator

1. Why are the children of Esav referred to as kinsman?

2. How is the word provoke defined here?

The Midrash in D'varim Rabba, sees the fact that the descendents of Esav are called kinsmen as significant. Esav's descendents have no spiritual connection with the Jewish people. They are pagans, and they are not privy to any revelation, but God has promised them a parcel of land and it is important that the descendents of Jacob honor that promise.

Subsequent verses permit our forebears to buy food, drink and supplies from them, but not engage in provocative behavior--even though they must have been seen as an army marching on a mission of conquest.

The Midrash also states that origins are important, because origins often create the potential for deep connection as well as deep enmity. It says:

D'varim Rabba (Lieberman) Parshat Devarim 22

Your kinsmen, the descendants of Esav, even though they are the descendents of Esav, they are still your kinsmen. Another verse echoes this sentiment by saying, "Your kinsmen who hate you..." (Isaiah 66:5). Even though they hate you, they are your kinsmen... And this sentiment is also echoed in the verse, "...and the outrage that will be done to your brother Jacob... (Obadiah 1:10). Even though he may kill you and plunder you, he is still your brother...

Your Midrash Navigator

1. What's the difference between fraternal hatred and hatred of one who is not related to you?

2. Which hatred has the greatest potential to be transformed into love?

3. Does the adage "You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family" resonate with this midrash? How?