What Not to Wear

The last new "What not to Wear" episode aired back at the beginning of January and that means that our wardrobe has had nearly six months to get completely out of hand. We kind of need this show to let us know what kinds of things we should be looking at. Without "What not to Wear" we put plaids with stripes AND polka dots all at the same time. Essentially, we're like Punky Brewster but without being able to pull it off. Thank goodness this show is back.

Past Events

It was announced several months back that this current season of "What not to Wear," the 10th one for the series, would be the last. We can't quite express our complete upset at that. We have never gotten to be on the show and now it looks like we won't ever be, and trust us, that's an issue. You should see what we wear to work... our whole closet is a bunch things that ought not be worn. We wonder if we'll get Clinton Kelly and Stacy London to ever do a housecall for us even if it's not on TV. Maybe we should just watch tonight and pick up tips while we still can.

Let us ask you a question, here we are with the 10th season of "What not to Wear," and we're curious about those first season people. Are they still wearing the things now that they were given then and if they are, are they now things not to wear? What would Stacy and Clinton do if they saw some of those season one folks today? Would they still approve of the various outfits they chose back in the day? Those questions will not be answered tonight, but we kind of wish that they would at least be addressed a little. We have our fingers crossed in vain, and you should too.

We have a great deal of love and affection for Clinton Kelly and Stacy London, the hosts of "What not to Wear," but we do feel as though we regularly have to do what they do, for we have a six-year-old daughter. The answer to the question of what not to wear is regularly 'That. That thing you're wearing now. Take it off and put on some real clothes. That's an adorable idea, but maybe now isn't the right time for it.' Then, we even get to do the shopping spree part where we get nothing for ourselves. Watch tonight and see if parenting a precocious child and hosting this truly excellent reality series aren't similar.

You know who you are. You're one of those people who watches "Desperate Housewives" and thinks 'Gee, Gaby looks great in that, I think I'll go out and buy a knockoff and wear it myself.' It is a nice theory, but here's the problem - not only are you not Eva Longoria, you're also about 10 years older than she is and don't have professionals to do your makeup and lighting. That is to say, you shouldn't be wearing that, you just shouldn't. Don't worry though, you're not alone, there are plenty of people in your boat and this episode is all about your compatriots.

Were we looking at the situation years ago we might have suggested that the producers of this series wouldn't want to name it "What not to Wear." We would have thought that all too easily it could have been turned by critics and other detractors into "What not to Watch." Well, the name hasn't really been made fun of and the show has been hugely successful, so what do we know? Yes, of course, we know that we're going to watch this tonight and that you should too, but outside of that, what really do we know?