Desmond Kane

Scotland humping worse than Engelbert’s

The last
summery Saturday of May seemed to be an evening ripe for ritual
humiliation. The ongoing English crooner Engelbert Humperdinck finished
second from last in the
Eurovision song contest, the previously undefeated Romanian-Canadian
Lucian Bute was obliterated by Carl Froch in their world
super-middleweight boxing bout in Nottingham and Scotland were abused
5-1 by the USA in Jacksonville, Florida in a truly forgettable
game of soccerball.

Out
of the three humpings, it is difficult to argue that Scotland's pumping
in a friendly gone wrong was the most "embarrassing"
as the Scotland striker Kenny Miller suggested afterwards. At least
Engelbert and Bute were in contests that turned out to be hopeless
causes. Scotland's humiliating collapse was self-inflicted from the
moment they squandered possession to fall behind in the
third minute to Landon Donovan's first of three. They sweated profusely
but did little else with Jermaine Jones applying a fifth goal on 70
minutes.

Scotland
have suffered a few serious beatings over the past 10 years. They were
stuffed 5-0 by France in a friendly a decade ago
before suffering a 6-0 clubbing by the Netherlands in the second leg of
a play-off for Euro 2004 after somehow winning the first leg 1-0 in
Glasgow. Those defeats could be argued away coming against sides who
were comfortably inside the world's top 10.

There
can be few excuses for the capitulation against a US side posted at
29th in the standings despite coming at the traditional
end of the European season. The Celtic midfielder Scott Brown seemed to
rampage around the pitch with some relish. If he can call upon the energy
levels required having appeared 34 times for club and country this
season, what excuses do the rest have? None.

Wigan's
Gary Caldwell and Andy Webster of Heart of Midlothian looked like they
had been introduced to each other for the first
time in the dressing room. Barry Bannan seemed like an impish figure
who has been on the periphery of an Aston Villa squad that finished two
places above the relegation slots in the Premier League. Apart from
Brown and Allan McGregor in goal, there were so
many disappointments for Scotland all over the park.

The
Scotland assistant manager Peter Houston seemed to unwittingly curse
the whole damned excursion a week ago when he opined that
the squad were in Florida to work. If Scotland were working on Saturday
night in Florida, heaven help us when they have time off.

It
was an inept performance lacking in any sort of tactical base, and
poses serious question marks over the team's ability to qualify
for the 2014 World Cup finals. This is a country that has not reached
a major finals since the 1998 World Cup. The malady lingers on.

If
the Scottish Football Association wanted to reward the national team
for failing to qualify for the Euro 2012 finals, they should
have paid for a week-long knees-up to Florida without clamping a game
on at the end of it.

Scotland's
failure to finish second behind Spain from a modest qualifying section
in which the now qualified Czech Republic were
their only true opponent for a play-off place at Euro 2012 remains a
true blight on a landscape that has been devoid of tangible success for
some time.

Scotland
played like they were on a jolly or a stag-do with the game a mere
distraction after a week of golf. What were they doing
during the week to look in such a shambolic state come showtime on
Saturday night? Let's not get ready to rumble.

The
much lamented German Berti Vogts used to shuffle into press conferences
sporting a hangdog look after his latest friendly defeat
while he was running Scotland. Some of the treatment he received in
media conferences bordered on the xenophobic. Levein, like Wattie Smith
before him, is an articulate sort of figure and gets an easier ride of
things because he is a native.

If
Vogts had presided over Saturday's debacle, he would have been urged to
shack up with the US coach Jurgen Klinsmann, his striker
at Euro 96, rather than board a plane back.

There
is a real need for Levein to prove he is up to the task of motivating
his players. Can he manage at the required level? It
does not say much for his managerial abilities or some of his players
if this is how they respond to the coach's instructions. Did Scotland
get their tactics wrong? The 6-4-0 formation Levein trotted out in
losing 1-0 in the Czech Republic will live long in
infamy, but Scotland suddenly seem to have lost recognition of what
works best for them with the group of players at their disposal. The
most worrying aspect of Saturday was that there was little for Levein to
console himself with.

Some
Rangers fans had called for their club's players to boycott the
national team in protest at the way their club has been treated
by the SFA. It would have made little difference on Saturday with
McGregor and Whittaker party to an episode of Braveheart without the
bravery or heart.

There
is a reason why Scotland have been left outside looking in at this
summer's European Championship finals. It is the same
reason that threatens to prevent them from qualifying for the World Cup
finals in 2014. They do not look properly attuned, or quizzical enough
during pertinent moments. They were also flogged by the athleticism of
the US side.

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