Notorious bigot and soulless slumlord Donald Sterling sat down with Anderson Cooper for an exclusive interview that will air Monday night at 8:00 PM. Sterling was sure to get “I’m sorry” and “I’m not a racist” on record, but not without wandering off the PC/PR trail. Sterling threw shade at Magic Johnson, claimed he was baited into making the comments heard on the infamous tape, and of course prefaced his apology with the unmoving qualifier: “If I said anything wrong.”

Below is a sample of baffling quotes from the Sterling-Cooper (worst Mad Men storyline ever) interview, courtesy of CNN. Emphasis added.

The apology:

“If I said anything wrong, I’m sorry.”

On Magic Johnson:

“He’s a good person. I mean, what am I going to say? Has he done everything he can do to help minorities? I don’t think so. But I’ll say it, he’s great. But I don’t think he’s a good example for the children of Los Angeles.“

What it’s like to listen to the tape:

“When I listen to that tape, I don’t even know how I can say words like that. … I don’t know why the girl had me say those things.“

On whether he was “set up”:

“Well yes, I was baited. I mean, that’s not the way I talk. I don’t talk about people for one thing, ever. I talk about ideas and other things. I don’t talk about people.“

On whether he’s a racist:

“I’m not a racist. I made a terrible, terrible mistake. And I’m here with you today to apologize and to ask for forgiveness for all the people that I’ve hurt.”

On whether he deserves another chance:

“I’m a good member who made a mistake and I’m apologizing and I’m asking for forgiveness. Am I entitled to one mistake, am I after 35 years? I mean, I love my league, I love my partners. Am I entitled to one mistake? It’s a terrible mistake, and I’ll never do it again … If the owners feel I have another chance, then they’ll give it to me.”

The full interview airs tonight at 8:00 PM on CNN. Charles Barkley won’t be tuning in:

Is what he said reprehensible? Yes. Was he set up by a gold digging tramp? Most definitely. He was set up by the woman who is 50 years younger than him that he was keeping as a mistress. So the moral of the story is……..

Why should he be forced to sell what is his for his private comments? So I guess if you ever using racial slang in your home, and it’s recorded and published, you should be forced to sell your what is yours? Makes zero sense.
The guy is banned for life. No one will want to play or work for him even if he keeps the team.

The NBA is a corporation. If you were so loathsome and someone purposely recorded and exposed you saying these things, you’d lose your ownership at a firm you worked at. People get fired for stuff they write on FB/twitter all the time. This is similar, but obviously larger scale.

The ‘one mistake’ crap is hilarious/sickening. Dude’s been an out-and-proud sleazy racist POS for decades now.

People I’ve interacted with who are so upset that this POOR OLD MAN got RAILROADED for saying ONE terrible thing that he was FORCED into saying by that GOLDDIGGER either 1) Don’t follow sports and/or the NBA, and were completely unaware of Sterling’s historic scumbaggery, or 2) Agree with what he said.

How do you get set up saying racist shit? Either you’re a racist or not. Unless there was some line before the tape like, tell me what a racist would say about black people on Instagram, he said racist shit on his own. He’s sad he got caught, and people finally paid attention this time.