It's a sad day when you can't take your rookie teammates out for a little Lake Minnetonka party with a bunch of whores. This goddamned Internet is invading everybody's privacy.

The news just came down: Four Vikings have been charged with misdemeanors for their part in the sex boat scandal earlier this year. The big name is Daunte Culpepper, which is funny, because all the good sex happened after he got off the boat. (The Vikings were better once he got hurt, you see. Laugh, please.) Also named were Fred Smoot, Bryant McKinnie and Moe Williams, a short-yard specialist 'til the end.

[Attorney Stephen] Doyle said sex acts were performed in front of employees, and many of the employees were fearful for their safety. The boat captains decided to end the cruise early and turn around because of the activities.

The good news is that there were no federal charges filed. The bad news is that next year's rookie party is going to be at a playground, with Grimace, the Hamburgler and a smattering of very nervous minimum wage McDonald's workers.