Being in the business of opinion by way of my nationality, I feel I am duty-bound to bring you a selection of my favourite looks from the Autumn/Winter 2014 Menswear shows at Milan Fashion Week. I have decided to forego any Golden-Globe-related phenomena (except to say: "Tina and Amy, please be my aunties") in favour of Mode Homme. Negative judgements will be withheld because I am most definitely not entitled to distribute any.

BelstaffA perfectly constructed padded biker jacket on the right, and a possible A/W2014 splurge on the left.

BrioniBelting in various forms was rife throughout a hefty percentage of the shows. This formalwear interpretation of the robe sash is a fine example of unconventional tailoring.

Calvin Klein CollectionNot the best of tones for my complexion, but nevertheless a great exercise in non-black, non-monotonous monotone.

CanaliFur is, in most cases, a domain best left to the Macklemores and the P. Diddys of the world. I myself have toyed with the idea ever since I saw these Louis Vuitton looks on the runway and on British GQ. On the right, another reoccurrence of the sash, this time in printed coat form.

Dolce and GabbanaAs Lorde so finely put it, "We'll never be royals", but if we were, here's a collection for the modern-day king. Prince George, get on it. Also, in line with the whole bathrobe scenario, pyjama shirts for men. Yes, please. I will be on the lookout.

DSquared2The motif with some of this week's fashion shows was deformalising suits. I am 100% on board. Overalls disguised as a suit (see left), beanies with formalwear (also present outside the shows), sneakers, unfinished hems. You name it, you'll find it next Autumn. The orange touches were also spot-on, although relegated also to the same personal spectrum of uncertainty as fur coats, for the moment.

Etro"Head-to-toe print vomit" would best describe the show, and despite the emetic reference, it is by no means deprecating (that is how my brain functions). The highlight, however, was seeing the tailors walking down the runway alongside the models. The way to the heart of the undersigned is through cute exploitation of senior citizens. No, I have not succumbed to gerontophilia. Also worth mentioning are the white-on-navy windowpane checks on the left.

FendiA post by yours truly would not be complete without a monochromatic look worthy of a life-sucking Dementor. Another example of desuiting the suit via white high-top sneakers.

Salvatore FerragamoOne of my absolute favourites this season. I will overlook the slight similarities to Dries A/W2013, and instead focus on four things:a) the shawl-on-shawl action;b) the incredible styling genius of Photo No. 3 (although by no means a new trick, wearing cardigans over blazers is thankfully not widespread and therefore not yet tired);c) the satin sheen;d) I am at risk of sounding like a total donkey here, but I was awe-struck by the way the pinstripes on the blazers and trousers were one continuous line from top to bottom.The pyjama overtones continue to reign supreme. The relaxed vibes of the Burberry Prorsum show have been carried over to Milano and I am lapping it up like a lizard basking in the sun.

Neil BarrettHaven't been this interested in lightning iconography since Pokémon came out in '99.

Roberto CavalliWe all know Cavalli's penchant for garishness. You might also know how dark and shrivelled up my fashion heart has become. So here's a happy medium: the rock-god vibes on the left, and the heartwrenchingly beautiful coat on the right. Is that a sash I see? Now sashay… away.

Z ZegnaThe cocoon is coming to town. Also, ketchup and mustard are no longer the strict domain of hot dogs. Long live le condiment!