Widows Need a Hideaway Retreat

Many widows feel like wounded butterflies that have been whipped in the wind and dashed against the windowpane of grief. They are wounded in spirit, soul, and body after the death of a spouse.

During this time widows must take time to heal and assess where they are in life after this blow. They must make tentative plans, but hopefully the need for new plans will not be urgent. However, if widows have young children, the need for decisions might be immediate. I’ve met some women who were panicky, trying to think reasonably, yet quickly. If their husband’s death was sudden, leaving no time to prepare mentally, spiritually, or physically, they may feel they’ve fallen into a deep, dark pit.

As time passes, crises are met and handled, and some problems go away in spite of not being addressed at all. Your spirit may calm, and your frantic heartbeat may slow, but life has still changed, and you still need to plan for the rest of your life.

I recommend a hideaway, a nook, someplace where you can surround yourself with what brings you peace and comfort. It may be in a corner of your living room or on a back porch out of the wind and bright sun. It may be a tiny spot in your yard where you can drag a comfortable chair near some morning glories, or a bench placed near a soothing water feature that trickles white noise to your spirit. A swing under a tree where you can listen to the birds and feel the breeze is soothing. Tiny white lights for night time can make you smile as you walk along a path.

Recently I saw on Pinterest an interesting board to follow called Outdoor Spaces. It is filled with cozy, restful areas where you could pray, read, eat, or sleep, many discovered in unlikely places. There are dozens of ideas to jump-start your creativity. If one tiny idea starts a small spark of anticipation, you are on the way to a deserved share of contentment.

The hideaway I made for myself was our bedroom on our king size bed because it was autumn into winter the first few months. I stacked a bedside table with my ever-present books, Bible, notepads, my journals, pens, tissues, coaster for my flavored hot teas, and extra pillows for back support. I had a radio for music and news when I felt the need. I added small pots of herbs, like mint and basil for soothing scents. Across the room looking at me were family photos which I cherished, but none of just Robert or us as a couple for quite awhile. I wasn’t ready yet, but if you find photos of your husband comfort you instead of making you dissolve into a puddle of grief, by all means get some framed.

This nook is about you, about healing, relaxing, and about loving. Remember God loves you and will not forsake you ever. Please share some ways in which you found comfort after the loss of your loved one. We are all seeking a lifeline.

“Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, ‘I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,’ we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I’m fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?” (Hebrews 13:5 MSG)