How to Make Her Want More

We women are often used to being pursued. In fact, we're taught from a very early dating age to be the ones to put on the brakes. You men are the ones who want more and we women are supposed to be the ones who want (sex) less - at least less than you do.

These traditional gender roles don't make for very fun adult sex though, do they? Men like to feel desired, too, and not always have to be chasing after sex. And women like to feel the power of initiating.

So how can you make her want more? Every now and then, give up pursuing her. A long time ago, a guy friend of mine told me that the most effective trick he'd found for attracting women when he's out at night clubs is to dance around his buddies or by himself - but not to be the guy who's hitting up every girl in sight. When women came to him, he'd dance with them for a while and then move on and get a drink or go to the bathroom. Sure enough, they would find him again. He'd let the women pursue him - and it always worked (it didn't hurt that he's a pretty fit, good looking guy).

This works in long term relationships, too. Some women get so used to their boyfriends' or husbands' kisses leading to sex that they start to shy away from cuddles or kisses. Or they think they know where things are going - and it doesn't involve any mystery or guesswork. But what if you just kiss her with slow, smoldering passion for a good minute or two and then smile and go to the kitchen to get something else to eat? What if you hold her for a little longer as she gets up to shower and get ready for work? Might she wonder what's up? Might she wonder when you're going to want more?

Some of the most powerful moments in sex are moments that make someone think "what if?" - as in, "what if I stay in bed a little longer?" or "what if I go in there and surprise him naked?" So leave her wondering for a few moments or a few hours. Give her enough to know that what you've got is good - and then let her come to you. Remember: she probably wants to feel sexy in an initiating kind of way, just as you want to feel wanted and desired. You don't have to make her beg (unless that's your thing) but you might enjoy making her want.

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