Friday, August 04, 2006

True Wife Confession 38 Special

Confession #371

When your work clothes are not clean on Monday... I didn't forget to wash them... I am just getting even. You T.V. watching, Poker playing fool...Did I say that? Hummmm

Confession #372

I really hate it when you call me from work, or I call you at work...and you can barely summon up the decency to tear yourself away from your computer screen and be civil for all of one minute. It is really rude and dismissive and it makes me want to throw the phone across the room.

Confession #373

We've been through a hell of a lot together. When we said "Insickness and in health," the Universe took us at our word. We'vegone through you being so ill I feared you would die, bankruptcy, andnow my disability. I have two husbands, only one legal, and you bothare amazing. The first bit was to my legal spouse; to the other one,you took us in when we had nowhere to go, and you are helping usscrape through as husband #1 retrains to a job that can't be shipped overseas.

I love you both so much.

And I'm in so much pain I can't make love to either one of you. Andthat hurts more than any physical pain could.

Confession #374

You think we have plenty of money in the savings account. In reality,I have credit cards you do not know about and the savings account isempty. I'm addicted to shopping and spending, I can't stop. I telllies to cover up the big purchases and hide the little ones. I want tostop. I want to tell you all about it. I just cannot bring myself toface the truth. I try to stop but I can't seem to. I'm afraid you'llleave me when you find out. This is one reason I'm so ready to getback to work after having our precious son 6 months ago, I want thisdebt gone and to be able to buy things with cash not credit. I'm sorryI've lied, I love you so much. Always and forever.

Confession #375

When you ask a girl to marry you, you don't say "I'm going to be in town this weekend, so you know what we can do..." I honestly thought you were asking me to go see a movie. It wasn't until you told me you had made an appointment to apply for a marriage license and reserved the time with the Justice of the Peace that I realized what you meant, and by then I didn't want to go through the hell you would have given me if I had backed out.

Confession #376

Can't take much more. Want to run and hide. Just a day off from the rhetoric of what I am not doing for you. Can't even make sense of what I am about anymore. Tired of hearing how I don't treat you with the respect a "husband" deserves, that I should be a good "wife", and that I henpeck. How many wives never say a word when their husbands are out until four am weekly. Then the week after I had our child you started telling me that I am not a good wife because I didn't want to have sex with you. A c-section and childbirth were just an excuse. Still don't want to hear the request for sex. Your insensitivity is hard to forget. The worst is when you tell me I should be happy, I have a baby and central ac. What more could a gal want! Grrrrr!

Confession #377

I know I haven't always been the easiest person to live with. I always seem to be wanting something "more". I am sorry if I never showed you, how much you truly mean to me. I'm sorry if for one second I made you think you were anything but the best husband and father in the world. I appreciate everything that you do, everything that you have done for us. I love you honey, more then I could ever begin to tell you. I am so grateful that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. And that you choose to spend the rest of your life with me. I am the luckiest woman in the world. I promise to you that I will be more grateful, and I will take the time to tell you all that you do right. I will tell you how much I truly do love you. You are the love of my life.

Confession #378

I wish you had the slightest fucking clue how much I long for a little emotion from you. A little passion, a little compassion, a little romance...goes a long way. That's why I started screwing my ex again.

Confession #379

You want to have sex every day in the middle of the afternoon and so we doit on my lunch break. The first time was kinky, the second time was cute,now I just do it becuase I know if I don't you will just masturbate after Igo back to work and resent me for not giving in.

Confession #380

You can be such a bastard. When my brother called me tonight because he needed my help with something and you got all pissed off and said "why doesn't he get a brain and figure things out for himself? Why does he think this is your problem?" Then I defended him saying he didn't know how to file a damage claim with ups--he's only 16 for fuck's sake.

You bring up my dad after berating my brother --big mistake bee-otch. He was there for me last night (and 3 nights ago) when you got drunk and started yelling at me when I asked you to calm down and talk quitely. He also convinced me not to call the cops and tell them you were driving drunk--you should thank him. So yea, he is my *precious daddy* He's not perfect but he's also not the one yelling at me everynight, screaming about things on the news that have nothing to do with you- then insisting that I am the one that starts all these fights. I just wanted you to calm down b/c of your high blood pressure. I bet drinking isn't helping that either. You bitch about the decay of society; do you think alchoholics are contributing to the good of society?

Why do I have to do everything for you?! You refuse to do anything at all. You leave your dirty clothes and dishes in the livingroom, leave piss dribbles on the toilet and on the floor in front of the toilet--who the fuck do you think cleans that up asshole? You won't even fucking make yourself something to eat... it's not cute or your way of showing me you need me, you're just fucking lazy!!

I'm not your mommy, your maid or your cook, if you want something to eat, go look in the stupid 1950's fridge you know the one with the broken latch that you insist on keeping b/c "it's built the way a fridge should be" yeah the door is held closed with duct tape shirt for brains! It eats power like nobody's business-funny how you care so much about the fucking enviorment but have refused to replace the piece of shirt for the past 4 years! Speaking of your mommy, how is the bitch? Oh, that's right she left you and your sibs for that child molesting asshole that's now rotting away in prison. She wants nothing to do with you--and I do think that is sad but I also think that because of her psyco behavior, she's not worthy of being called Mom.

I was set to leave a comment about the credits cards, too. How scary to be sop financially out of control. Don't just cut up the credit cards, cut up the ATM card too. Keep cash on hand just enough for survival and stop spending money you don't have. It's dangerous where you are headed - and where you are bringing someone to without their knowing.

374, you really, really need to tell your husband. After you've cut up your credit cards in front of him. Seriously. My mom was/is a shopaholic, and my parents took out three mortgages on the house just to pay bills. You'll ruin your credit and your chances of getting any loans in the future. My sister in law has done the same thing, and now her and my brother in law's credit is ruined and they have no money to help their kids out with college. Try this site: http://www.stoppingovershopping.com/

372-it might be because when your husband is at work he is suppose to be WORKING...not talking to you on the phone. I am a wife who used to call dh at work all the time and finally I realized that I was making it IMPOSSIBLE for him to do his job. Suck it up and wait until he gets home.

#374 I was you. I was hiding accounts and debts from my husband. But he found them. All of them. I couldnt tell him and him finding them was much worse. But he loves me (amazingly) and we stood together and are getting thru this. You cant/shouldnt do this by yourself. Go to him today/tonight and fix this before it gets deeper/bigger because trust me it will.

I am #374. I cried when I saw this posted today. I had already removed the cards from my wallet, after reading this I took them out of my nightstand and cut them up. I went and applied for a job today that I can work on weekends and some evenings so my husband can watch our son. I realize some of my spending was almost as a revenge. His ex-girlfriend ran up his credit card and we had to use money my parents gave us for a wedding present to pay it all off. I was mad about that and felt like I had a right to the money because she took it from us. I guess I was not thinking and got in the habit of spending now I owe almost 8k. Hopefully this job will come through and every penny I make will go towards paying the cards off. I want to tell him, I'm just not sure how to go about it.

#374 I have been there...when I was pregnant I spent $12,000 of money that wasnt even ours...I thought my husband would leave me when he found out, but he didnt...he brings it up when we fight but it is my fault. The thing about it is I never realized what I was doing and now looking back I still dont understand it....but you have to stop it will only get worse.

378 - If you are banging your ex like the whore you lead us to believe you are, it is not because of the actions or inactions of your husband or anyone else for that matter. It is simply because you choose to bang your ex. At the very least you could charge him for your services and then forward to money to 374.

#374 again... I think this one speaks to many people because this is an easy thing to get sucked into.

I wanted to say that I went to the stoppingovershopping website and I think there might be better resources out there for you. The book is more expensive than other books out there for the same topic that are recommeded at a higher rate by people (like us) who have been through this. Stopping overshopping has a program they are selling for 350 bucks which I feel is more like taking advantage of someone in a bad situation than helping them.

I'm glad you recognize where part of this addiction came from for you. That's probably the biggest component of digging yourself out of this hole. Dealing with the emotional reasons for over spending is the key to stopping it from happening again.

i hope you tell your husband, i think you will find he is not going to leave you over it. i'm sure there will be fighting- as with the others who have commented on going through similar issues. But that doesn't mean he won't still love you. You can't really blame him if he feels a little betrayed- but I think it's something you can work through. Then you won't feel so alone.

FUCK YOU anonymous. I am a normal gal who reads this blog and the corresponding comments daily. I have just never seen such pathetic people all in one place before. I AM FASCINATED and keep coming back. I think if you have a right to bitch about your husbands, then expect some backlash from your husbands.

um...FUCK YOU HARDER JEN...who the fuck do you think you are to come here and make some shmucky remarks about shit you don't even have enough of the attention span to sit and read about before vomitting up some inane commentary about decency. If you feel so bad about some loser who comes here to feel better about his pathetic life and berates every woman for her marital problems then do him a favor and go suck his dick. You don't like what you read? Go thump your self righteous bullshit on another site, you moron. In case you didnt take the time to notice, the name of this site says TRUE WIFE CONFESSIONS, not "hey if you're a moron with the attention span of a flea then click on this site". If you're so fucking fascinated then shut the fuck up and learn something bitch. Your pathetic life must pretty fucking DULL. Otherwise, take your pg-13 ass and get the FUCK OUT.

I am #378, or, as Kevin put it, the whore. Thanks for all that stood up for me on this one. And, Kevin, obviously you've been cheated on, I am sorry you are a hurt little man - but this is a place to vent, not to be judged by someone like you - who has no clue what it is like to be me, or a woman in general.