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But How Will I Get My Meat Stick Fix?

‘Tis a somber day for Slim Jims. This morning, the North Carolina plant that produces the beloved jerky batons suffered an explosion due to an ammonia leak in the packaging wing of the factory. Subsequently, parts of the roof caved in on the building, and forty-one employees have been hospitalized for exposure to toxic ammonia fumes and chemical burns.

One worker interviewed by Fox News, Chris Woods, recalled the exact moment when the explosion forced everyone to prematurely snap into a Slim Jim. “I was picking up a piece of meat off the line and I felt it, the percussion in my chest. One of the guys I was working with got blown back, he flew backwards.”

Thankfully, there have been no human fatalities, but the death toll for ole’ Slim and his brothers is so immense that we have no definitive numbers as of yet. Please say a prayer today for America’s, “most well-known [example] of a food product which is listed as containing mechanically separated chicken in its ingredients” (thanks, Wikipedia).