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Thursday, 10 October 2013

The "We're Not All Like That" project

So, Dan Savage (he of many problems) is helping start a
new video campaign in the mould of “It Gets Better”. This one is called “we’re
not all like that.”

It’s basically a place where religious people can make
videos assuring GBLT people that they’re not raging bigots.

Uh-huh. My eyes are rolling so much they’re getting
friction burns.

Firstly, I do not think we need to broadcast this message
because we already hear it over and over and over again. You cannot criticise
any element of bigotry from organised religion without veritable flocks of
apologists zooming in to wrong their hands about us being so mean to worldwide
forces of bigotry singing, first and foremost, that “we’re not all like that.”
(The only reason you won’t get it on this post is because I have so
little patience for such arguments that I’ve slapped them down and hard). And
then the conversation (if any) about how organised religion is supporting
bigotry derails into flocking round hurt religious fee-fees because the
organisations they are supporting and affiliating with continue to oppose human
rights.

Because that is what “we’re not all like that” inevitably
means – not supporting GBLT people who have to deal with worldwide religions
that loathe our existence – but playing PR for those religions so they can
dismiss their own bigotry. Or providing a sop for the conscience of people who
are supporting bigoted religions but still want to think of themselves as one
of the “good ones”.

I don’t want to hear “we’re not all like that” because we
already spend more than enough time focusing on the exceptions to the RULE of
religious homophobia rather than actually challenging religious homophobia or
seeing it as acceptable.

And, frankly, I’m not sure I believe you. Ok, maybe you’re “not all like that”,
but most of you? Yeah, I think most of you ARE like that or, at very least,
quite happy to tolerate “that.” How many billions of you support bigoted
churches with your presence and your resources? How many of you say “we’re not
all like that” then attend a Catholic mass or put money in an Othodox
collection plate or tithe to the LDS or tick “Anglican” on the census form? How
many of you say “we’re not all like that” and attend a synagogue condemning
marriage equality or a mosque participating in an event inviting speakers who
think gay people should be thrown off a mountain?

How many of you declare “we’re not all like that” but are
quite willing to support people and organisations that are? How many of you sit
in the pews and ignore the policy of your churches? How many of you close your
ears to the hatred? How many of you decide it’s not that important?

How many of you actually DO anything to show “you’re not all like that” other
than make a crappy youtube video – if that?

And, hey, maybe you do have powerful reasons to stay with your churches. I've said before and I'll say again, I do not think everyone should leave their churches because churches can be essential to them on many levels - from community to genuine belief. But don't attend those churches, lend your tacit support to this bigotry and then DENY it. Don't sit in the pews adding your numbers to the bigots and then turn round and say "we're not like that!" to salve your conscience.

This, this pathetic writhing to pretend the bigotry their
perpetuating isn’t happening has been going on for DECADES – in fact, it’s
actually one of the reasons why I hate the Westboro Baptist church (beyond the
obvious). Because their hateful trolling is so ridiculous, it gives all these
“we’re not all like that” people a perfect scapegoat to point to and claim how
wonderful they are in comparison.

And they have the power to shape our society because of the millions – billions
– who follow them. INCLUDING all these people saying “we’re not all like that”
and pointing at the Westboros. Y’know what? If you WERE like the Westboros,
you’d probably do less damage.

So you can keep your precious little youtube videos with
their conscience salve that helps you scrub some of the blood from your fingers.
It’s self-serving and part of an ongoing pattern of denial of bigotry

And if you’re not all like that? Fine. Prove it. Prove it
with change. Prove it by shouting down your fellows. Prove it by doing
something. Prove it by taking a long hard look at the people you are
affiliating with. And if you won’t do that then maybe you need to ask whether
you really AREN’T like that. And if you CAN’T do that – because the bigotry in
your organisation is so strong that progress is near impossible or moving at
such glacial slowness that you’re becoming another agent for it by praising the
none-steps – then I ask you what the POINT is of you telling me “we’re not all
like that”? Because it’s not for me or any other GBLT people, it’s not helping
us you trying to drape a cloth over your religion’s hatred. It’s not helping us
if you’re “we’re not all like that” comes with the caveat “but most of us are
and most of the rest don’t give a damn, so it’s not like we can stop the
bigotry.”

Get out there and prove it, don’t produce a youtube clip
so you can claim your cookies and pat yourself on the back for being a good
ally – or a good {insert religion here} because you were willing to sell the
deception other GBLT people. This iniative won't help GBLT people - it merely provides another scrubbing cloth for the Lady Macbeth "allies" trying to deny the blood on their hands.