Our adoption journey website for Emma, Meilynn, and Lily can be found at www.mychinajourney2.com/pomafamily.com

LINK TO OUR JOURNEY TO JILLIANA

CLICK ON JILLIANA'S PHOTO TO FOLLOW OUR JOURNEY TO CHINA

Friday, September 03, 2010

OUR RED THREAD STORY

I
know you have been waiting to hear“the story”.As you
all know we just adopted Lily in February.We were approved to adopt two children at that time.Actually on all of our adoptions we put
that for many different reasons.When we were adopting Emma we were open to the idea of twins.When we adopted Meilynn we put two
because we had done that with the first and what if we got to China and found
out that Meilynn had a sibling or twin?I know that would be rare, in fact I have only heard of something like
that happening twice before, but since it didn’t change anything we asked to be
approved for two.With Lily we
could not stand the thought of leaving her best friend behind so we asked to be
approved for two just in case her friend did not find a family.We actually asked to adopt her at the
same time but our agency said that China would not allow the adoption of two
healthy six year olds and as you know her friend found the family that she was
meant to find and we are able to keep the girls in contact.

At
about this time we were coming up on Lily’s 6th month post placement
visit.I told Mike that since we
were approved for two that maybe we should submit our dossier to China and then
if we ever did decide to adopt again it would already be logged in.We both agreed that we would do that
and if God wanted us to adopt again we would and if he didn’t we were fine with
our beautiful family as it was.

Every
time we have adopted China has changed something about the process.This time is no different.And even since we have started this
adoption there have been significant changes.

I
became a member of an advocate group for children that were on the shared
list.There are over 2000 children
waiting to be adopted with minor-major special needs, both females and
males.Every month the list gets
longer.On this site they post the
pictures and just a brief description on the need.Members of this group are also wonderful people that
advocate for special children that touch them in some way.

One
day I was looking at the website of one of these advocates when I saw a baby
that was 10 months old that I could not stop looking at.Several people were interested in her,
but I felt a special place in my heart for her.I saw her file
get locked and unlocked several times and every time it did I felt a tug in my
heart.We were finally able to
lock her file.She had a need that
I had not ever heard of before.I
consulted with professionals on her need and they were very positive, but the
family that had locked her file before us sent me all of the medical
information that they had which was not so positive.Mike and I prayed for direction.We only had 72 hours to decide.In our married life we have only made decisions that we both
agree upon.As a result we had to
let her file go.I was heartbroken
and decided that I would not look at pictures any longer.I don’t think you can know how this
feels unless you have had this happen.It is like the loss of a child even though they were never really yours.But little did I know that God had a
different plan for us.

One
of the advocates sent me an e-mail telling me that she didn’t know if I was
looking or not but that she had two files she would like me to look at.One was of a three year old and one a
four year old.I told her briefly
what had happened but I told her to send me the three-year old one.She told me that she would be three in
November, that she had a repaired cleft lip, had hearing loss, and that she was
from a disruption in May.She warned
me that she was “super cute”, which was my reaction when I opened the file with
her picture.Because of what had
happened before, I told myself that I would not fall in love with this little
one until we knew that it was God’s plan for our family.

I
showed her file to Mike.We needed
to find out more about her.I
asked the advocate if she knew anymore about why the family might have
disrupted.She said that the
family went to China expecting to adopt a child with a repaired cleft lip, but
when they found out there were other needs, they decided to disrupt.

Mike
and I both prayed about this.Cleft lip was a need that we had listed on our homestudy that we would
be open to.We had never
considered hearing loss before.But God had just given us a Son-in-Law last year. And guess what?He is in his last year of audiology
school.In retrospect, could
this be any clearer?We didn’t
read the signs that God was sending us yet.

We
decided that we would send what little we had on her hearing to our Son-in-Law,
Nick.He was able to look at what
we had and also send it to others to look at.Everyone felt if the tests were right that her hearing could
be corrected with hearing aids.

I
tried to find out who the family was that disrupted from the advocate, but she
did not know.I was hoping that by
some miracle I could talk to the family.The advocate did send me several pictures that were taken when care packages
had been sent from the other family.I even contacted the care package company but they did not return my
e-mail and I really did not think that they could tell me who the family
was.But I was hoping they could
contact them and see if they would talk to me.I never heard anything.I just needed to know why?

We
then contacted our agency and asked to lock her file.They were able to lock her file for us giving us 72
hours to make a decision.This was
on Thursday, August 5th.Then a miracle happened.I
found out who the family was and I was able to find out if they would be
willing to talk to us either directly or through the person that knew
them.We set up a time to talk.
(Now I was feeling that God was directing us on this path and all we had to do
was be open to what God was planning for us.)After getting off the phone I was told nothing that would
make me not continue with the adoption.I was also able to get the Dr.’s number that had reviewed the file and
talked to them while they were in China.I put a call into the Dr. but I did not get to talk to her before we
were due to make a decision.Mike
and I both felt that this was what God was asking us to do, so we sent our LOI
(Letter of Intent ) on August7th
and on August 10th we had our PA or pre-approval!

On
Thursday I was finally able to talk to the Dr. and still there was nothing said
that made us change our minds or feel that this was not God’s plan for our
family.

During
all of this time I made myself not look at her sweet little face and not fall
in love because of what had happened before, but now there was a peace that God
had given us the most perfect gift.And because of this other family we have so many more pictures and
information than we ever had on any of our previous adoptions.I like to picture God with a needle and
the “red thread” that knit together this perfect plan.

Psalm
139:13-18

For you created my inmost being;

you
knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I
praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I
was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the
depths, of the earth,

your eyes saw my uniformed body.

All the days ordained for me where
written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O
God!

How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, they would
outnumber the grains of sand.

When
I awake,

I
am still with you.

Introducing
our new daughter:

Jilliana Elise Jihong

I love the "girly" way she is posing and what a twinkle she has in her eyes. I cannot wait to get to know her.

I think she will fit right in with the other girls.

Look likes she will really fit in. Look the girl is not even three and is doing her hair!

I think she likes to pose for the camera.

My next post I will tell you a little more about her as I have just received an update! And I will post pictures from this last year. The pictures above were taken in July.

11 comments:

I would SO love to be able adopt! It was always my dream to have an adopted child as a kid, but I have no funds to do so! Breaks my heart! :( But I am so glad that their are families like you that are willing to take in those sweet babies!

So happy for you and your family! I followed your journey to Lily (we had used Lifeline for our Lizzie) and I cannot wait to follow this one! I am also in the Advocacy group and they are wonderful:) Your newest little one is just precious!

Hi Vicki - my husband and I just brought home our 18 mo old son a few weeks ago with CL/CP. I have been following your blog through our wait and I have really enjoyed seeing Lily blossom! There is another wonderful little girl whose blog I follow that you may appreciate. Her family learned that she had severe hearing loss after she was home. And you can see that she too is blossoming and such a great blessing. The site is inthewaitingadoption.blogspot.com.Good luck,Sarah

Yet another awe inspiring story...and another breathtaking beauty! Again, I am so happy for your ENTIRE family...can't wait to follow along on your continuing journey. And now, I need to go get a tissue. ")