I love my best friend

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old MaleOkay, so here's the shpiel... I've been friends with this gal since 2nd grade, which is some-odds of 14 years or so. I always used to have a bit of a crush on her, but she never really seemed interested. We were, however, really close friends for a long time. we were practically attached at the hip… Well, this little thing called life happened, and we fell out of touch for a good while. I wound up moving away for about three years (I was only 14 at the time, so I didn‘t have a choice). We never really fell completely out of touch, mind you. we still corresponded a bit every now and then, but we were nowhere near as close as we once were. Ever since I moved back about 3 years ago, though, we’ve become close again… to be honest with you, she’s my best friend. She listens to me when it seems everyone else ignores me. She seems to care a great deal. more than anyone else I’ve ever encountered. I’m kind of weird, but she knows exactly how weird I am and has remained my friend over the years regardless. In fact, she’s kind of an oddball herself, so she actually seems to understand it… Anyway, I love her, and I’m sure you get that kind of thing all the time, but it’s not a word I throw about willy-nilly. I’ve been around the block a few times and had my fair share of crushes and infatuations. like I said, I even used to have a crush on her, but now something’s different. I used to want her to be my girlfriend, but now I’m just content with her friendship- not that I wouldn’t like it to be something more, mind you, I’m just happy to be around her regardless. My dilemma, however, is this. I’ve told her how I feel about her, and she’s told me she’s just not interested in me that way… but I don’t know if I believe her. I mean, I have to take her at her word, but often times she says or does things that just don’t seem to mesh with that assertion. It’s important to note she has an overall flirtatious demeanor. but I’ve known her long enough I can differentiate that from any actual interest. The guys she usually goes out with tend to wind up being jerks. and recently she went through a particularly bad breakup. but since then she’s been looking at me differently. it’s kind of hard to explain… It’s like she’s trying to find something in me that she suspects has been there all along, but she never really saw. I don’t know if that makes sense to you… I’m sorry for having written so much, but I wanted you to have as much information as possible to draw upon… I just wonder if maybe she might be interested in me, or starting to become interested. and what course of action I should undergo… Any advice, really, would be welcome.

Be as close to her as you have always been. Wait a month and a half to see if she is going to say something about loving you. If she hasn't done so, gently mention that you still feel the same and see what she says. If she refuses you again then it's probably time to give up and instead just be a friend. Friends like her are hard to find.