Our experience was just about perfect (for the hospital!!). When we came in the triage nurse actually read our birthplan!!! She said, "I see you request no offers of pain medication. Good for you! I'll tell you know that if you change your mind that's fine, let us know, but otherwise it won't be mentioned again." And it wasn't. They only did a vaginal upon admittance and when the shift change came the 2nd nurse asked permission (and I consented). Everyone was very helpful, very respectful. That said, I chose this hopstial (and my OB) based on that reputation.

If you know what you want, write a clear, polite and succinct birth plan. Get your doctor to agree to it and ask the nursing staff to read it as they come on (which they are more likely to do if it is less than 1 page and easy to scan). And be confident of yourself. You can totally have the birth you want anywhere!

I had two hospital births. The only time something was done without my consent was to me. My blood pressure was spiking rapidly at the end of my labor with dd (firstborn), and afterward I was giving something (through an IV) to bring my blood pressure back down. I was informed as it was being given, rather than asked for my consent.

So . . . not ideal, but as far as these things go, it could have been worse. I expressed my concerns at my follow-up appointment, the doctor gave a qualified apology in that she didn't intend to avoid my consent but felt it was an emergency situation (although I don't remember feeling "off" or at risk), and with adjusting to my new life as a mama, I left it at that.

ETA: I should mention that she was a resident and I was one of her first birthing mamas, so I did give her more leeway than I would have given a more experienced doctor. On the other hand, in every other instance during my pregnancy and labor, she absolutely rocked and we got along very well. I think she just got caught up in the moment when it came to that one intervention.