And you're too tired to admit you've got to choose

It's okay as long as I don't think about it. Any of it.

I love it in movies that the real characters, the characters with realistic lines and plausible shortcomings are the ones who never get remembered. They're realistic and therefor don't make good main characters. Think: that really annoying guy that likes Baby in Dirty Dancing. He's a plausible little bastard because he's annoying as fuck. But I always forget about him because he's more annoying than sin.

Anyway...

We had the family cook off last night for APO. For some ungodly reason, I got best dish from Ron, which was pretty cool and all, considering I had a store bought salad with some cracked out dressing. But the Omegas won over all. Alphas (us) were Italy, Phis were Morocco, damn Omegas were Germany, and the pledgelings were Greece. They did a really good job, considering only 3/5 of the pledgelings were there (I don't know who all reads this ridiculous blogging of my personal life), but I gotta say, the pledges this term are pissing me off. Not all of them. Actually, most of them are fab. But the ones who have no interest in doing anything or being involved with any of it...it's like all they want is to put it on their resumes...fuck dude, it's for you, not for your resume. I admit, I don't know if I'll be super involved next year - with any luck it'll be my last full year at the U of O. Dave once said that the average member's active span was about 18 months. That seems about right. It's definately a way of life.

But all in all that was good. I bought Ryan for $10.50 during the brother auction. That was fun, he's got a really great DVD collection - so I bought him for his movies. Haha. And Rose/Kelly (whom I both adore immensely - Go slytherins!) bought me for my kitches - where they will cook me a meal. Duuuude, that's not a bad deal at all.

I miss the days of Montana, living free, the days before I realized I was naive, the days where I was my own person, with my own feelings, thinking I knew everything. Doing whatever the fuck I wanted.

Now life is so much more complicated. I'm still naive, but you know what? I actually know that now, as opposed to when I was younger, and thought I knew everything. I did know everything. haha. I danced. I loved. I told people to fuck off. And it was okay.

Like I said. If I don't think about anything, it's okay. When I'm not sitting here, in front of my computer, I don't realize how truly shitty these last two weeks have been.

There's been incredible highs and incredible lows. I can't help people dying...I can't change it. I can't make a difference.

I really hate that Dirty Dancing is supposed to be in the fifties yet it looks straight out of the eighties when it was made. And yet it's a great movie. crapcicles.