How do they get diplomas?

{This post is one in a series called, “Top 10 Fears”, in which I speak to the most common fears parents express about homeschooling the high school years. To see all the topics, or to start at the beginning, click HERE.}

Fear #7

Your child won’t get an actual diploma

Perhaps the deepest fear among high schooling parents is failing to cross the finish line. That somehow, after all those years of hard work, something goes terribly wrong. Often, that story is is:

Your kid doesn’t get a diploma. And it’s all your fault.

If this is your story, read on. It may be time for a modern rewrite of that story, one that makes more sense for you, the home educating family.

The Dream

Let’s start out with the dream. The one where you envision your kid, walking across a big stage, turning a tassel, and getting handed a leatherette folder. Inside the folder = the prize. That glorious sheet of parchment with the raised lettering and the gold seal. The coveted certificate that shows the world you’ve got a real-life graduate on your hands. You can’t wait to take photos with it, show the grandparents, frame it, and then hang it on the wall.

In your mind, that parchment is the key to your child’s future, is it not? It’s required for the college degree, the job, the happiness, and the secure financial future.

Examine the origins of that dream, however, and you might just realize it’s time for an update.

Let me ask you about that diploma thing…is getting a diploma really your child’s dream, or, is it yours?

I wonder, is this really about the diploma? Or, is it the meaning attached? It’s funny the importance we place on “things“…the wearing of a gown, the turning of a class ring, the tossing of a cap into the air…

I love tradition and I understand your desire for diplomas. Seeing hordes of students in academic regalia always gives me the chills…that will probably never change.

But, today, we need to recognize there are many ways of finishing high school. Hundreds of ways of documenting it. And limitless ways to celebrate finishing it. Not all of those ways involve a leatherette case.

I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you, but homeschooling doesn’t always come with an embossed certificate. Getting an actual diploma isn’t always guaranteed.

So, now, you’re thinking, WHAT? But, “My friend said…”, and “I heard that…”, and “Someone told me if…”, and I get that! Don’t some homeschoolers get high school diplomas? Absolutely. In some areas, under certain options, in some states, under certain circumstances, homeschoolers do get high school diplomas. And in some areas, under certain options, in some states, under certain circumstances, they get certificates or completion letters or other notifications, too.

But — they don’t always. And you need to get used to that. Now.

In lots and lots of cases, homeschoolers don’t get high school diplomas. It doesn’t mean they didn’t finish your program and graduate. It just means is they weren’t handed the same paper you got, and other kids get.

Change is Good

In our home, our children have (had) no interest in diplomas. They’re not familiar with the traditions of high school graduation, so it isn’t a part of their world. Some of our kids have been handed diplomas, certificates and letters of completion over the years, and some have not. The documents never made them feel any different. As I write this today, those certificates are stored in plastic sleeves in every child’s high school binder, not hanging on the wall. What we hang on the wall are photos of all of us together, projects they’ve completed alone, memories of what we’ve accomplished as a home educating family, and college diplomas, made easily possible — no high school diploma needed. Change is fine. In fact, it’s really good.

Still Want a Diploma?

If you live in an area, or are homeschooling under a program that does not award a high school diploma, so be it. You’ll need to make one. Or have a talented friend make one for you.

You’ll have to buy a diploma at an office supply outlet. Better yet, you can purchase an exquisite diploma online.

Feel free to do all the ceremonial stuff, too — the leatherette case, the black and gold frame, and displaying it on the family room wall. Lots of homeschoolers do! It’s the perfect blend of parent-directed education and age-old tradition, don’t you agree?

In closing, I would simply encourage you to think deeply, not about your fear of failure, but about a new definition of high school completion, one more appropriate for our times. Realize that a certificate does not define homeschool completion, your success or failure, nor does it define your student.

In my mind, homeschool completion is so much more than a single sheet of parchment — an ordinary diploma seems hardly enough for all you’ve poured into your child anyway.

Dr. Marie-Claire Moreau is a college professor who traded in her tenure to become a homeschool mom 20+ years ago. The founder of many homeschool groups and organizations, she works to advance home education, and is an outspoken supporter of education reform coast to coast. Her book, Suddenly Homeschooling: A Quick Start Guide to Legally Homeschool in Two Weeks, is industry-acclaimed as it illustrates how homeschooling can rescue children and families from the system, and how anyone can begin homeschooling within a limited time-frame, or with no educational background whatsoever. A liaison for regional school-to-home organizations and a homeschool leader in Florida, Marie-Claire also mentors homeschool families nationwide. A conference speaker, she has appeared at FPEA, H.E.R.I., Home Education Council of America, and many other events. She currently writes for audiences at Quick Start Homeschool, which she founded in 2010, and as a guest writer on other sites as often as she can. Her articles have appeared in CONNECT magazine, on Homefires, atCircle of Moms, and she has contributed to hundreds of other blogs nationwide. Dr. Moreau can be reached at contactmarieclaire@gmail.com.