Parenting Books

Site Meter

November 11, 2007

Updates

Several unrelated things that are going on:

Too close for comfort

Matt is starting his job at the new company tomorrow. Although he will be traveling more, we do not need to move. The upside (or downside) is that when he isn't out and about, he will be working from a home office. Our house did not come with such a room so we have been fashioning one up this past week.

First it was going to be downstairs in what is technically our living room but is currently used as an office/study. It does not have a door and upon further investigation it proved to be too difficult to put one on it so the office has to go upstairs in the fourth bedroom. Since we don't need this room for a baby anymore it does make sense. It had been used as a playroom which was very convenient as the room opens up into our master bedroom and we could keep an eye on the kids while we got ready in the mornings.

I was sort of hoping this room would eventually become my writing and relaxing retreat. No more.

So Matt will be around more during the day which is great, really, except that we are supposed to pretend he is NOT actually there so that he can work. I might be able to do this pretty well but I have a hunch that he won't be able to pretend he doesn't notice what I am, or am not, doing during the day.

Like if I am not dressed yet at 3pm. Or I spend a good portion of the day on my computer and then have no proper dinner prepared. Or if a friend calls and I talk instead of cleaning or some other purposeful, housewife type of activity.

I might need to get a job outside the home in order to save our marriage.

Tying up lose ends

I am pretty sure I forgot to say here that Scott learned how to tie his shoes. I know this can be a rather difficult thing for a lot of children to master, so I really didn't even expect him to do it for awhile. But those OTs, they are so good. They kept him at it and worked on it step by step until it finally became routine. About 6 months ago I tried to help him and couldn't even get him to make the first twisty-turny-put-one-lace-over-the-other part. So I would say the credit goes to the OTs, but that's not fair to Scott who stuck with it even though it was pretty hard. Now he ties his shoes every morning, but still asks for help at school when he is under pressure!

Fed up and fired up

I do not know who I am more mad at about the Aquadots situation, the manufacturer of the toy or myself. When I brought these home for Jane as a congratulations-you-mastered-the-potty gift, Matt casually wondered what exactly were in those things to make them stick together. I dismissed his comment because, well, I am a too-trusting idiot. I prefer to believe that if a company makes a toy, it must be safe and if they market it in such a way that every kid in America wants it, well it is for sure, without a doubt, going to be cool and perfectly fine.

I am pissed, outraged, mad as hell and sick to my stomach. My daughter had already been playing with the damn dots! And we use that Johnson's Baby Wash every single day! And it is everything else, too.

The preservatives in food and the pesticides and the chemicals on the lawn and in the plastic cups and plates we use and the cleaning products and the laundry soap and the hand soap and the pressed wood that our deck is made out of and the playground equipment and the waves from the cell phones and the stuff that is in immunizations and just about everything. Everything. Damn.

So I typically choose to pretend things are OK. But this time I am so seething mad and it is not just that I had bought multiple packages for birthday presents, it is that I feel that it is my own damn fault for not doing what I should have and refused to believe that this crap is safe.

Please no, not a cavity

Scott hates the dentist (another post in the making about the sensory nightmare that is at the dentist), but has learned to tolerate the twice a year trip. Last week, as we were just about to leave the office and I was feeling so happy that it had gone well, the hygienist pulled me aside and told me Scott has a small cavity in one of his molars. I calmly listened to what she was telling me while I silently screamed inside. "We will take care of him, it won't hurt at all, I promise," she said. I knew that. What she didn't know was that Scott was going to freak out.

I waited until he came home from school to explain the situation. He pitched a big fit. Not only is he mad that he has to go in there again before his 6 month reprieve but he also feels that he it is his fault that he got the cavity. "I didn't brush enough! Daddy never had a cavity! It's not fair! I hate myself!"

No amount of explaining will get him to stop blaming himself. And I am annoyed that the hygienist didn't listen to my concerns about the unknowns for Scott. What will the numbing gel taste like? Will I hear anything scary? How long will I have to sit there with my mouth open feeling like I am going to gag? They don't get it either. I know they won't hurt him, but he is anxious about more than the pain.

I will be calling tomorrow to discuss it with them again before our Tuesday appointment. And I am going to get him a gift afterward, like another Wii remote. Yep, you heard me right, I am going to get my kid a present for having a cavity. Because I hate the dentist, too, and I want him to know that I understand how scary and uncomfortable it can be and that I am proud of him for dealing with it. I am certain that buying him something will not encourage him to get another cavity.

I'll let him decide what he wants, within reason, as long as it isn't Aquadots.

** Thanks again for all your kind words and thoughts about my miscarriage. Today was much better than yesterday so I should be over the worst of it and able to move on. It really is adding insult to injury to find out you are not going to have a baby and then to have to suffer the physical fall out.

1. D. has been "working" (don't ask) at home for the past 2 months. Thank G-d he starts at his new office in a few weeks. I'm not sure our marriage can take much more of this.

2. I'm impressed with the shoe-tying. I'm already worrying about what size the velcro shoes go up to.

3. I finally broke the news about the Aquadots to SB yesterday. Thankfully he took it much better than I expected.

4. I totally understand having to get him a present for braving the cavity. Ask me why SB has slept through the night for the past 5 nights (and not at all for the previous 2 months!!!) ..... we promised him a present after a week's worth of sleeping. D. thinks it's crazy we have to PAY our kid to sleep. In a sense, it is but having limited the gift to $20, I'm pretty sure our sleep is worth $2-3 a night. And shame on that hygienist for not listening to your concerns. Don't they know our kids need to know what to expect?

Funny, my husband uses our fourth bedroom as an office when he's not at work. And I won't pretend it's not stressful, because it can be. I feel that I have to shush the kids, when they shouldn't really have to be shushed in their own home. It's a doable arrangement, but it's not the best.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling a little better physically. Sending you a hug for that one.

And as for the hubby working from home...Yes, you may have to get a job just to get some of your privacy back. But, seriously, all good. And I'm with you on the dentist. And the aqua dots. And the damn bath soap. And every last bit of it.