Category Archives: benefits of crying

Hi Everyone! I’m happy to say my channeling from last week’s post that I put on YouTube is doing so well!–as of now I have over 2600 views, 260 likes and lots of positive, grateful comments on the Higher Self Channel. I had no idea it would do so well! Here’s the link to see it:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpKhVU5Etos

This is bringing people back to MY YouTube Channel and I’m getting new subscribers and it’s helping my outreach to help others through my coaching and through my songs. Yay! With all the excitement, I then caught a bad cold on Friday. I hadn’t come down with a virus like this in years–I like to believe it happened because I’m clearing out the old from my body that no longer fits and I have shifted into a higher vibration–I hope! 😇. This is what my inner guidance is saying 😍✨ so I’m inclined to believe it. 😃 It’s called a “healing crisis”–google it if you want to learn more.

I also had to process some emotional pain that got triggered when I was feeling so sick, miserable and alone, and unable to think, or do any work–it triggered me back to my abandonment wound from early childhood and I started spiraling with hopelessness feelings and irrational thoughts like “I will never be well again”–a child believe’s this when they have no comfort and no-one to explain what is happening and that they are going to be okay.

This wisdom came to me when I allowed myself to examine what messages my inner critic was saying when I was feeling the worst. With this delving inward, I had an AHA moment!– for the first time when ill, I had clarity of exactly where that feeling came from and I was able to feel it and comfort myself through it–simultaneously I felt myself finally healing from the virus as I felt it lift after a short but intense crying spell about the original neglect and simultaneously comforting myself through it–this was an emotional healing breakthrough! I let the little child in me cry about the original painful event that had been repressed. I felt so good after that cry–I was …reconnected to my truth–to my true higher self.

That was yesterday. Today, when I woke up, I felt like Yay my brain is working again, I feel excited and stronger than ever, and I’m getting ready for a vacation in 4 days with my husband.

I’ll be back here writing again after I get back from the Bahamas (my first time there ever)! 😁 .

I hope by sharing these things I go through, it will help you the next time you get triggered to a stuck feeling. Write about it and decipher it back to it’s roots and let the inner child ( or past life YOU) cry about it to release this truth that has been repressed. Crying is part of the healing–Comforting yourself is the crucial 2nd part of the emotional healing process–you know you would comfort a crying child who is ill (or abused) and needs to be held and reassured–of course you would so give this to yourself!! You can be your own healer!!

If you resonate with this, then this is a good time to start an emotional healing journal today if you have not already. Think of it as writing out a private conversation with your best loving friend, your higher self, who loves you unconditionally!

It’s so healing!! More on this on another post! Have a wonderful couple of weeks, Everyone!! Sending all of you hugs, comfort, compassion, and deep understanding.

Hello everyone. I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays and find some inner peace and joy in just “being wonderful, sensitive YOU!”. For highly sensitive souls, the holidays can be difficult, especially if you are triggered easily due to PTSD from childhood trauma. I relate, however, many big breakthroughs have been happening for myself. I have been wanting to write and connect with you all about all the self discovery and healing I am learning about and how it’s making profound shifts in my own life–I am always listening to my inner guidance and growing. It’s an amazing process once you get on a roll. One day while journaling, the following information just poured out of me from my inner guidance and I knew it was meant to share on this blog. Here it is:

“You can recover from PTSD from childhood trauma.It’s not easy. It’s step by step. Yes, it really is about putting one foot in front of the other-wading through the feelings and voicing your truth.When you have PTSD from trauma in childhood it is your root chakra that continually needs help in your life. This is about getting your legs underneath you, standing strong on your own 2 feet, and feeling safe.It’s about moving forward towards your dreams.It’s about feeling solid, centered, grounded, and safe for your soul to stay in your body.When you voice your deep fears and the truth about their origins to a safe person, it validates you to feel safe and be “in” your body—perhaps for the first time.”

I didn’t know I wasn’t in my body until 2011 and I had memories of terror come up when I was laid up with some health problems. I had to cry and re-experience the terror with a safe person holding my hand as I voiced the truth of what happened to me. Realizing it was from childhood and not in the present is part of the relief—you realize you are not dying or going to die from the emotional pain (which is what a child believes) but just releasing a repressed trauma.Afterwards, I had a new sensation and a knowing that I was stronger—I proclaimed, “OMG! I feel like I am in my body for the first time!” I never forgot this moment and I was amazed—you realize the profound shifts that emotional healing can evoke.It propels you to keep feeling more and more of your repressed pain and release it as it comes up.

After this you begin to understand you are building a foundation (healing your root chakra)—a solid foundation is being laid down brick by brick.It takes time and patience and deep love for yourself.You are lovable and you have always been.You deserve to feel safe and whole and vital.You can overcome all of your fears and step into your whole true self.You are on your way!

More helpful guidance for highly sensitive souls on the way in 2019! Happy New Year to you all!! It’s gonna be a great year!!!

Hello everyone! I hope you are doing well and taking good care of yourselves. Today as I am writing this the first big snowflakes of the season are falling here in the midwestern United States. Yes, it is that time of year again. How did it go so fast yet again?! It is good to constantly remind ourselves that, as highly sensitive souls, we must strive for balance in our lives by adding in some time alone to recharge and for some creative self-expression as we set out to accomplish the many tasks that accompany this busy holiday season that is quickly approaching. Express your creativity in ways you used to love to do as a child but haven’t found time for lately–the activities we loved as children (like singing, writing, art, or dancing) are often our true desires–taking just a little time daily for this artistic self-expression will give you new found energy, rejuvenation, and a satisfying sense of accomplishment. Also, remind yourself to check your heart rate occasionally on busy days and breathe deeply and slowly to slow yourself down. Cortisol, the stress hormone, is harmful to our bodies when it is called upon too frequently so we need to learn relaxation techniques to take care of our adrenals. Laying down for 20 minutes with eyes closed (with just the intention of slowing your heart rate and following your breathing as you try to make it slower and slower) does wonders when you are feeling anxious and starting to spiral with negative thoughts. Positive self-talk and affirmations are important as well such as: “There is plenty of time for all the things I want to do”, and “I love and approve of myself”, and “I give myself permission to be the best that I can be”.

These are good reminders that Christmas is about Love. Love is the opposite of fear and can heal it. You can love yourself out of these fear-based anxieties that originated in a childhood that did not provide a safe place to be yourself. Also since you may have had to numb ourself out to survive as children, you may have learned not to pay attention to your bodies urges to tell you what it needs. For example, “thirst” can be something that you learned not to feel and so your bodies are very dehydrated without your realizing it. You”ll be amazed how much better you feel when you start making yourself drink more water on a daily basis. I drink 32 ounces in the first 4 hours I am awake in the morning–the rest of the day always goes so much better when we start our day really hydrated. Try it and see! And make sure to drink at least 64 ounces a day and even more on days you have extra stress. And if you are trying hard to “hold it together” in spite of the stressful feelings that the holidays can trigger, try a different approach–let it all out and have a good cry! Crying is good for you and studies show that emotional tears have higher levels of toxins that are released than in regular tear production.

I want to talk more about the benefits of crying because society has such a stigma against it. How often have you heard on a media outlet about a public figure or celebrity seen crying and then heard it referred to negatively as a “breakdown” which is ridiculous. A break “through” is a better term. The urge to cry is just truth that is coming up to be healed (comforted and released). Think of it symbolically as light breaking through the clouds, and someone finally “seeing the light”. I like to think about the song “I Can See Clearly Now” as if the writer of that song just had a good cry and a period of healing and now feels better and has healed a wound from childhood that was blocking him from functioning at his best. He is now en”light”ened! I also like to think of the description by a pilot right before breaking the speed of sound–he describes that, “the cockpit shakes the most right before” and then it is smooth sailing once he breaks through. If we resist our bad feelings and suppress them we may never know what aha moment or lesson we could learn–we must trust that our feelings are trying to teach us something.

More of my views on the benefits of crying are demonstrated in my reply to a highly sensitive and gifted commenter names Elisabeth who was concerned about how emotional she feels and how often she cried. I hope it is helpful to all of you HSPs out there who can relate to how she felt. Here is the interaction that transpired in the comment section of one of my pages on this blog:

Hello Roxanne,
I can honestly tell you i feel God directed me to find this site! On behalf of every person who has benefited from your choice to help people, thank you so much! I honestly felt something was wrong with me all my life. I am highly sensitive, emotional, and very hard on myself. I was actually going thru one of my attempts to “figure out” what it is that makes me the person i am, I have never been able to pin point exactly what was, all i knew is that normal people do not feel such intense emotions , I am highly empathetic, and can practically feel what others feel, even before they feel it themselves. All my life i have thought of it as a curse, I am great with people, and feel like God gave me the gift of encouragement, yet the one person i could never figure out or help was the person staring back at me in the mirror. upon reading your “About Me” section, it was as though everything you discribed was everything i have been dealing with all my life! I dont know why, but I could never pinpoint exactly what caused me to be like this, only within the past couple of months i came to the realization that it had to do with my mother and not being shown love as a child. Ive stopped trying to get others to understand, because to them it is ridiculous, unless you have truly been hurt in that way, you would never understand the extent of the damage it can have on a persons soul, especially a shy little girl. All my life I feel like I have in a way punished myself for not being good enough, and literally crippled my own personal growth and prevented myself from becoming better because in a weird way i felt i didnt derserve it. What hurts most is reaching out (to my husband, my mom, sisters, brothers etc.) and trying to explain how I feel, and being rejected, ridiculed or as my husband would say “stop feeling sorry for yourself, and take control of yourself”. to me, being put down and rejected by ppl who are supposed to love me unconditionally, especially when it took so much out of me to come out and say it, its like taking a knive and slowly puting it thru my heart.
Also, I am a Christian, but upon trying to learn more about who i am, I turned to horoscopes, because it was the best thing I could find to accurately discribe who i am. Im not sure if you know about them, but i am a pisces girl with a cancer moon. (in case you dont know, that s a double whammy. Pisces and cancer are both the most emotional signs. =(((((((((((
In conclusion, I guess my question to you is how can I get past what I went thru as a child and grow from it? It has put a huge strain on my marriage, and even my husband has tried to understand me, but it just feels like my words are not getting thru to him.
Thank you again so much for your time! May God bless you generously for what you do and all the lives you have impacted!!

p.s. Is it normal for a person like me to not be able to talk about anything emotional without crying? Just within this past year I can not say how i really feel without bursting into tears, and then starts the process of telling myself that its stupid to cry over it etc etc..

Thank you for your wonderful, thoughtful and wise comment. I agree with everything you say here. I wish I had time to respond in depth to everyone’s comments–I am so happy to know this blog is helping so many. Thank you ALL for all the wonderful comments!

I just want to mention a few things: why the sad((( face for being the most emotional signs–I don’t know anything about horoscopes but sounds like you are emotionally “gifted” !!!. Our families of origin (and our society too) instill in us this shame about our emotions–it is not true!! It is wonderful to be emotional–our emotions are meant to be our “compass” for finding happiness in our lives! You can learn how to have boundaries to keep out the negative emotions from others and tap into the positive emotions that are innate in you. Learning to love yourself is key and processing your pain from the past includes grieving about the love and acceptance you never got for having this emotional gift. Crying is necessary to tell your truth about how you have been treated.

It is normal to cry if you feel the need–sounds like you have a good reason to cry. It spills out at inopportune times because we are holding it in so often. Having a good cry from time to time is so healthy and recharging! Also, often survivors like us cry when we are misunderstood and don’t feel “heard” when we are actually “angry”–but we were punished for expressing our true assertive positive selves when we were tiny children and so we learned to repress it–they were threatened by our positivity and truthfulness! So it is kind of a post traumatic stress response. It is not stupid in any way to cry–crying is positive and healing when it is grieving about how you were mistreated in the past. Crying releases a truth that needs to be told!

There are 2 kinds of crying (…or more):

1)“Grieving” is the healthy releasing of the truth of your injustices and it is cleansing to release your truth–try to catch what you are learning as you cry and write it in a “journal for your eyes only.” Crying has lead to the writing of my best songs–there is always hope at the end and you feel a release and a new inner strength.

2)“Despairing” is a kind of crying that can be destructive if it is habitual because while doing it you are being very mean to yourself and beating yourself up (negative spiraling) the same way your abusers did. Survivors often need to release and admit these despairing feelings at first which are still repressed from childhood–upon realizing how bad you must have been treated to be a child in such horrible despair, your innate compassion kicks in and you begin to love yourself a little more each time–releasing layer by painful layer of truth is how we heal.

Learning that HSPs with childhood wounds must stop the habit of despairing and turn it into grieving (and be very very kind and gentle to themselves when they are sad and build themselves up instead of continue the abuse of themselves that started as tiny children) will change their lives. I hope you will continue to read more of my blog because I talk about the importance of grieving losses from childhood quite a bit. Elisabeth, by crying you have bravely started the process of emotional healing–you are on your way to finding out how special and gifted you are and have always been! I hope this has been helpful to you.

To all of my wonderful readers, I appreciate you so much! This Holiday season may all of you open yourselves to receive God’s (The Universe’s) unconditional love and light that shines upon you at all times–and to know that God (The Universe) has bestowed upon you the gift of compassion for the feelings of others. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to cry, and “shine your light” upon yourself and others and you will heal!

Professional Qualifications

Hello and welcome! I am an Intuitive and Empathic Life Coach specializing in Inner Child Healing. I have a Bachelors of Science Degree in Child and Family Services with an emphasis in humanistic counseling psychology, family dynamics, and child development. I provide support and guidance for healing childhood wounds and I personally have done my own extensive inner grief work and now I help others do the same. Through this blog, it is a privilege for me to provide comfort and emotional support to any soul who is in emotional pain and to let them know there is hope and someone who understands. I was trained and worked as a peer counselor in college and I have much experience counseling friends and loved ones and now I coach others through my Coaching website truevoicelifecoaching.com. So often a person just needs a companion to listen–someone to validate the complex and confusing painful feelings that come up when childhood wounds are triggered and that keep us from moving forward to becoming our true selves. Through my blog, this community serves as an “enlightened witness” for any person who needs to be heard about childhood wounds or if you have no family members or friends who understand your feelings. We look forward to hearing from you and appreciate ALL comments whether you want to leave a comment regarding the information found here to share your own experiences, or if you feel a connection and want to lend your support for what is said. Thank you to all my readers for your support of this blog. (For more info. please see ABOUT ME) I am now adding Reiki Energy Healing Sessions and Intuitive Readings to my list of services.

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News Flash!

The stigma against Introverts and HSPs is beginning to change on a global level. See the video called The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain on TED.com. Yay Susan!
Go to ted.com and search Susan Cain, then click on her video The Power of Introverts or you can copy and paste this is your browser: http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power
_of_introverts

This is Bill Gates favorite Ted talk! Also, Elaine Aron said that Susan is really talking about highly sensitive people (HSPs)– Even though 30% of HSPs are extraverts. (In my opinion these 30% are highly creative people often with ADD symptoms — they are extremely gifted and unique people not to be seen as needing medication but as a special gift to the planet if they allow themselves to let their creative genius flow and use meditation to find balance from their overstimulation.)

Disclaimer

I am an Intuitive and Empathic Life Coach providing emotional support and intuitive guidance from knowledge gained from my experience helping others and from my own personal healing journey. I am not a licensed mental health counselor and my Life Coaching and the information shared on this blog is not to be considered mental health counseling. I do not diagnose, treat, or cure mental health disorders. My Life Coaching services and the emotional healing information shared here are not to take the place of the advice, care, and evaluation from a licensed mental health counselor, psychologist, psychotherapist, psychiatrist, physician, or other licensed health care provider. Some clients may be referred to a licensed mental health professional.
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