Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sex & Chocolate....He's Just Not That Into You

Ok so first!...Last week at HBU, as Residence Life staff, we put on two events right before Valentine's day. For guys only!, there was Sex & Video Games: food, video games, and open conversation about relationships, sex, etc. For girls only!, there was Sex & Chocolate: chocolate bar, chocolate fountain, pretty tables, and lots of girl talk! :)

From what I hear, (I of course was not there since I am a girl and it was BOYS ONLY!), Sex & Video Games had a good turnout and a great discussion time with their panel! Like I said though...I can't really attest to much of what went on there. (and I'm not so sure I want to know!)

But I can talk about Sex & Chocolate! We had an awesome turnout! We didn't have a single empty table and the Q&A time with our panel was superb :) We had a very diverse panel of amazing women, all completely willing to share their hearts and horror stories with us for the evening.

I think that as girls, we have the tendency to head in the wrong direction whenever we have questions or concerns about things like relationships, dating, sex, etc. I know from personal experience,and from observing girls around me, that we always look horizontally. We stay at eye level and look for someone who is exactly like us, with the same personality, same age, same track record with relationships, same emotional maturity level, same spiritual maturity level...to give us advice. Why in the world do we think that will help? Seriously. What good is that going to do? This is where we run into trouble. We base every action and emotion and decision on the shallow word of some girl who knows no better than ourselves what should actually be done....then we end up in a mess and wonder how in the world we didn't see it coming. Hmm....go figure.

Participating in things like Sex & Chocolate or having good, Godly mentors is a great way to stay away from stupid advice and dumb decisions. Find someone older (not ancient necessarily, but with a few more years under their belt!). Find someone wiser. Find someone more rational and mature than you are! Find someone that can provide some spiritual guidance and encouragement! Friends just like you are great....but influential people with a little more experience can be great friends too. Plus, they give much better advice!

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On a different note, I saw He's Just Not That Into You a few weeks ago and since then have heard nothing but negative things about it from women I've been around. Now, granted, there were things in the movie that I thought were inappropriate, I'll just be honest and say that, for the most part, I completely disagree with the things I've heard. Don't stop reading just yet, please! Allow me to explain.

1. I in no way thought that they were communicating that it's ok to have a relationship with a married man because, who knows, maybe you're actually the one for him instead of his wife. Yeah, I didn't see that at all. The whole point of the movie was to show what goes wrong when, as women, we do the wrong things in relationships. I saw the whole Scarlett Johansson situation as a clear message saying: Do not even THINK about even attempting a relationship with a married man. That is a NO-zone. Not allowed. It will, without a doubt, end badly. It was a disaster example...at least that's how I saw it.

2. Ok. Jennifer Aniston and Ben Afleck. The way I saw it, all through the movie, Jennifer Aniston's character just wanted to get married. She wanted the title, not really the relationship. By her agreeing to love Ben Afleck's character even if he wouldn't marry her, I saw it as her finally realizing that she wanted him, not just the wedding. Of course, he proposes anyway, but she had to come to that realization before he could!

3. I also don't think that the movie was trying to communicate that all men are evil liars that will never commit and always be jerks.....I did, however, get that men aren't perfect, which, thank you for reminding me. I think that sometimes I forget. Men and women are different. Very different...and neither sex is perfect. Sometimes men act without thinking. Sometimes woment think too much and never act. We both have our faults....that's just the way it is.

Please, feel free to disagree. I did it first, after all. Tell me I'm crazy and insane...I can take it! :)

And let me add....this is by no means a favorite movie of mine. I'm not even sure that I would recommend anyone watch it before it's in the RedBox....it wasn't sensational. Apparently it didn't communicate anything positive to anyone but me....but hey, I'm willing to admit I'm a little unique!