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Somewhere along the way, we have largely embraced a cultural value and belief that we need to be heard. We need to have a voice to proclaim our perspective. We need to be afforded a seat at the table to weigh in on whatever subject we deem ourselves interested and opinionated.

It’s not true. We don’t need to be heard. Often times, it’s actually to our advantage to not be heard. The position of no position is peaceful compared to the contentious places of preference.

In Matthew 16, Jesus begins to teach His guys this lesson. He begins to teach them the Kingdom. Verse 21 says that Jesus “began to show” His disciples that He “must” suffer, be killed and be raised.

Peter actually starts to argue with Him. Peter needed to be heard, with what most of us would have concluded to be a noble position, but we would see in the reaction of Jesus that it was anything but noble. Peter said that he wouldn’t allow Jesus to suffer and be killed and Jesus shut him down; actually called him Satan.

Jesus tells Peter that his perspective is wrong; he’s looking at things from man’s perspective, not God’s perspective. Jesus goes on to say that to follow Him, we must deny ourselves, which actually means to forget about ourselves. It means to not focus on us or the opinions we foster within us. Those opinions don’t need to be heard.

We are invited to die to the preferences of our soul (vs. 25-26) just like Jesus was. We get to not have an opinion. We get to enjoy the benefits of sacrifice, if we will reject the apparent satisfaction of being heard or considered or preferred. If we’ll allow ourselves to lose, we will win.

Glory comes on the other side of crucifixion. Where we willingly allow ourselves not to matter and deny our desire to advance the preferences of our soul, the glory of God can come through us. Where we will sacrifice our mind, will and emotions, His Spirit will be put on display through us.

Jesus didn’t come to provide a history lesson or abstract idea; He came to unleash His Kingdom and His plan for multiplication of that Kingdom is us. We are invited to follow Him in His ways; the ways of His Kingdom. Not our ways and our need to be heard. His ways are better, but they come at the cost of our preferences.

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My wife got to take an incredible trip to Germany and France recently. One evening, we were going to dinner with my sister and her husband who live in Germany, along with some of their friends. I was driving one of the cars to a restaurant in Heidelberg. We got a little turned around and were trying to find the restaurant.

Along the way, I made a few mistakes. First, I drove across a bridge that was a footpath. People all over the bridge had to make way for this rogue car. Then, I drove through a restaurant’s outdoor seating, prompting my sister to say, “you’re about to hit the waitress.” Finally, I found myself in a designated bus lane with no way out other than to follow the bus in front of me.

While sitting at a red light while in the bus lane with my window down, we noticed a German man staring me down. He was obviously taking exception with my choice of lanes and rightfully so. He was staring intently at this crazy driver who was either rebellious, chaotic, confused or some combination. As we noticed him glaring at me, I instinctively put my hands up in a surrendered posture and said simply, “I’m in the wrong place.” At that simple declaration, his grimace turned to a bit of a smile and he turned and walked away.

While I didn’t want to be in the wrong lane or threaten the wait staff with my wayward choices driven by my confusion, I wasn’t offended or threatened when the man confronted me with a look. I knew I was in the wrong place and he knew that I was in the wrong place. I knew that I wasn’t a bus and this was a mistake. I was going to get back in the car lane as soon as I could. That response of confession and surrender disarmed any accusations he was formulating.

When we know who we are, we know when we are out of our lane and the temporary time in a place we don’t belong won’t threaten our identity. We won’t react to threats or accusations when we are grounded in the security of the Truth of our identity. We’ll be secure in our confession and change our mind. No need to fight; you know I’m not a bus and I know that I’m not a bus.

Identity breeds security and security fosters emotional maturity. When we are affirmed in who we are by the One who made us, we can know peace in our mistakes as well as our victories because neither define us.

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The reason for the gathering is to be encouraged and equipped for the purpose. The purpose is carried out day-to-day in markets and communities that aren’t coming to the gathering. That means that vocations and locations occupied by people who come to the gathering are going to be the ones that carry out the purpose. Out there.

The ministers are electricians, dentists, room moms and IT professionals. They go places that pastors and priests aren’t invited or expected. It’s in those places that ministry extends the reach of God beyond the four walls of a gathering place. To be qualified, you simply have to be reconciled. Once you are reconciled to Jesus, you are a minister of reconciliation.

“And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.” (2 Corinthians 5:19-20)

Once reconciled, you are given the authority of an ambassador to bring the message of reconciliation to others. You are a minister of reconciliation. Congratulations.

John 1:1 says that Jesus is the Word. Reconciliation is to the Word; written and personal. When people are hurting they need to know but they need more than information. The written Word is imperative in our understanding of truth. The Word Himself is just as vital as we realize grace and love. Without the personal connection, it’s a matter of logic and reason with no relationship. The invitation is into relationship.

Too often, we are “out there” among people who don’t know Jesus and we want to try to convict or convince them of their faults with supporting evidence from the written Word. The net result is accusation and condemnation. Typically not very fruitful.

If we’ll allow for Jesus to be personified in our grace and compassion without the need to change behaviors from the outside, He is good at the inside business. In fact, when we consider it, He is still in the process of changing us from the inside but is doing so with love and grace. Not guilt, shame or condemnation.

Ambassadors are only legitimate for as long as they represent the governing authority that sends them. Jesus didn’t send you to tell everyone how wrong they are; He sends you to tell them that He isn’t holding it against them.

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them.” (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

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From time to time, I’ll have someone tell me that they agree with aspects of Christianity. They value Jesus in some ways, but not others, and they agree with aspects of philosophies or religions that aren’t aligned with Him. They lean into a “universal” approach to God where all’s well that ends well and, in their estimation, it ultimately ends well for anyone that tries. Or something like that.

I typically will pseudo-congratulate those people for creating their own religion. They have walked through a buffet line of ideas and picked their way to a meal they prefer, but they are likely the first in the history of ever to pick that unique combination. I’ll often encourage them that they are now the prophet of the religion of “me.” I do so without any condemnation or rejection, just the logic that goes with the reasoning they have used to avoid absolutes.

We are currently in an era that wants to reject absolutes. The idea of absolute Truth where someone can be wrong has increasingly become offensive. The Gospel of grace is, in fact, offensive by its very nature and it is founded on absolutes. With no absolutes, there is no need for grace.

The challenge for those of us that embrace the absoluteness of Jesus and His invitation into an eternal Kingdom, is to handle the absolutes with the grace they empower. If/when we wield them like weapons of judgment and condemnation, game over. That conversation will go no further. If and when we can find the sweet spot of grace in the middle of Truth, we may just be able to connect people to eternity. We may get to be included in God’s heart for them and us.

Forcing absolutes is likely going to be manipulative and maybe even abusive. Holding them gently and receiving people gracefully is inviting. The invitation holds the promise everyone is ultimately looking for; to be connected to the love of the Father. His love is absolute, and the connection is available. How we receive that perfect love for ourselves will often be reflected in how we offer it to others.

The disagreements related to behaviors are growing so don’t accept those as your premise. The love of the Father through the grace of Jesus Christ is what drew you in to start with and it’s what “they” want, too. Or not; and if they don’t, the argument becomes moot, anyway.

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Who do you do what you do for? Do you serve your family, your self, an employer or some other entity? They why behind our what matters as to our enjoyment and fulfillment. The lines can get blurry and a reminder can be helpful.

I got a reminder recently. I was pursuing God in time set aside to read and pray. I had a thought and the way I almost immediately framed that thought as a blog in my mind. Right away, this apparently pure thought between God and I was put into a form that I could communicate to others. I wasn’t really seeking God for Him or me, but for others. I have to; it’s what I do for a living.

The problem is that the minute I converted the breath of God in the thought to a sermon illustration or blog, there was no life in it for me any longer. It was just a work tool. It was a job.

I repented and enjoyed the connection with my Father. As much as I appreciate the opportunity to minister in His name, the ministry is His, not mine. My ministry is to love Him and love people. His ministry is to save them, heal them, deliver them, etc.

I was looking at Ephesians 1 recently and looked into the idea of being “marked in Him with a seal.” The definition of the word “seal” includes the idea of proving someone’s testimony to a person that he is who he attests to be. The “seal” of Christ is the Holy Spirit, whose responsibilities include proving to someone the authenticity of things attested to. My job is to love Him and love people; His job is to convince them of things about Him and them.

I have nothing that He will attest to from a place of production. I have only the authentic connection of relationship as a conduit for truth. In other words, without being connected to Him for Him then I am doing things that are He won’t speak to others about. I can talk or write all I want, but unless He seals it with His attestation, nothing in others will change and none of it will matter.

It’s easy to slide into a place of burden for ministry’s sake. It will ultimately produce nothing more than some form of burn out. The life and the fire are in the authentic connection. That authentic connection is what He will use to stir others; not my ability to come up with ways to say it.

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When practicing law, I routinely defended people who had broken the law. In those days, people – mostly Christian people – often asked how I could morally support my decision to be an advocate for the immoral. The answer was easy. Jesus is our advocate, even though we did “it” in some form or fashion. The case is airtight against us, but He doesn’t turn from us. The chance to be an advocate for guilty people was the chance to stand beside them, just as Jesus stands beside us.

In the case of the woman caught in adultery, Jesus’ method of defense was peculiar. As her accusers loudly proclaimed the woman’s guilt, Jesus silently stooped down and wrote in the dirt with His finger. The Pharisees would not relent; they continued to batter Jesus with the question of what they should do to the woman in light of the Law. After a short time, Jesus stood and invited anyone without sin to begin the prescribed punishment of stoning by throwing the first rock. Then, He stooped down and continued writing in the dirt.

No one could throw the first stone. One by one, the crowd dispersed until only Jesus and the woman remained. Interestingly, verse 9 of John 8 says it was the older men who left first. The older men left first because they had sinned the most, if for no other reason than they had lived the longest so they had the most practice.

Writing in the dirt was the primary tactic Jesus used in defense of the woman. As odd as it seems, Jesus’ act of using His finger to write on the earth was a foreshadowing of the exchange He was here to make. God had written in the earth with His finger previously, and here He was doing it again.

The first time God’s finger wrote on the earth was when He wrote the Ten Commandments on stone tablets, some of the very writings the Pharisees hoped to use to condemn the woman. God wrote the Law twice, as Moses broke the first set of tablets. Now, here He is, in the form of Jesus, again writing in the earth, again twice. What He wrote was “grace upon grace” (John 1:16), just as He had written the Law, and then wrote it again. Perfect satisfaction; it is finished.

The first time God wrote in the earth, He wrote the Law; the second time, He wrote grace. Jesus came to satisfy the Law for us, since we can’t just as the old men of John 8:9 couldn’t. Our perspectives of God and people (starting with ourselves) are evident in what we “write” with our words and attitudes. We are either writing law or grace, and we can only write what we first receive. Realizing that we are not unlike the woman Jesus refused to condemn allows us to receive grace just as it allowed me to defend those who did “it,” too.