Guest Post by Joanne Mallon – Tips on Toddler Tantrums

Emmy is now 2 years old now and
we are having our terrible 2 moments a little too frequently at the
moment so I have asked for advise from Joanne Mallon author ofToddlers
– an instruction manual – A guide to surviving the years one to
four (written by parents, for parents)

Here
are Joanne’s tips:

“Stay
strong – don’t waver

Never
ever give in to a tantrum, or you will be storing up problems for
future behaviour. Giving in teaches your child that histrionics will
get them what they want. As I say to my kids (repeatedly) “Crying
and shouting gets you nothing”. Your child needs to learn what sort
of behaviour does and doesn’t bring rewards (and a parent’s
undivided attention – even negative attention when you’re telling
them off – counts as a reward, which is why you need to ignore
tantrums).

Sometimes
giving in to your child can be a way to achieve peace in the short
term – very tempting, particularly with public tantrums. But it is
a short term gain with long term consequences. So for the sake of
future tantrums – don’t waver with the one that’s happening
now.*

*OK
yes I know you will. We all do it sometimes. Don’t feel bad about
it, we’re all allowed a couple of strikes out. The trouble is, the
more inconsistency you show your child, the more confusing it is for
them.

Time
for Time Out?Sometimes,
particularly with epic, tornado-like tantrums that just need to blow
themselves out, you will need to put your child aside in a safe place
such as their bedroom. Once they get to that whirling dervish, arched
back state, your child is so caught up in the moment that they’ve
probably forgotten what it was that made them angry in the first
place. So for the sake of both you and your child’s sanity, give
them a space to calm down.

It
doesn’t need to be for long – hopefully less than 10 minutes
should be enough – and afterwards simply carry on with your day
rather than rehashing where things went wrong. Ten seconds after the
tantrum’s finished, your child will probably have forgotten all
about it, so follow their lead.”

It
is good to know I seem to be on the right track after all – I walk
out of the room if Emmy starts up with a tantrum, other one which
stops it instantly is to video it – this was done to show her Daddy
the state she gets herself into for no or little reason but I quickly
found it works, and once we get to the hitting mummy stage nothing
works so she goes into her room with the gate shut for 5 minutes to
clam her and me down.

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About Us

Hi, I'm Clare (Emmy's Mummy). I live in Essex with my husband Paul, Daughter Emmy (born February 2010) and Son Harry (born October 2012), our dog Barney.
I'm a 30-something WAHM and former Nanny, sharing life's adventures and misadventures
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