opening uphttp://www.scarleteen.com/taxonomy/term/4618/all
enRecovering from Sexual Shamehttp://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/recovering_from_sexual_shame
<div class="question"><div class="question-question"> <p>When I was younger, I was caught "experimenting" with <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3330"><dfn title="Use of the mouth, lips or tongue for sexual stimulation. Cunnilingus ("going down on"), fellatio ("blowjobs") and analingus ("rimming") are some common kinds of oral sex.">oral sex</dfn></a> by my parents. They reprimanded me severely. Ever since then I've had a hard time coming to terms with my sexuality. It took me a long time to get over my feelings of how "sex is bad," but now I'm in a healthy, <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3439"><dfn title="Someone who has had or is currently having some kind of genital sex with a partner or partners.">sexually active</dfn></a> <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3307"><dfn title="Some kind of ongoing interaction or association with another person, place or thing.
There are all kinds of relationships: family relationships, friendships, romantic relationships and sexual relationships are a few, and sometimes those will overlap where we have more than one kind of relationship with someone. Sometimes people use the word relationship to only mean a romantic, "serious" or committed relationship, even though that's not all this word means.">relationship</dfn></a>. My problem is that, although I want to be intimate with my boyfriend, there's a part of me that still feels the shame of my younger self. It's led to me being uncomfortable with myself, and especially uncomfortable with oral sex (giving, but mostly just receiving). My sex life is fine, but I can tell that my <a class="glossary-term" href="/glossary/term/3385"><dfn title="In a sexual context, a person with whom someone is having some kind of sex. The term "partner" can be used for all kinds of relationships, not just serious ones. "Partner" can also mean the person someone is with in a romantic or familial partnership.">partner</dfn></a> doesn't really understand where I'm coming from. I haven't told him any of this, and I'd rather not. What can I do to get over this feeling?</p>
</div></div><div class="more-link"><a href="/article/advice/recovering_from_sexual_shame">read The answer</a> | <a href="/question/">ask your own</a></div> PoliticsRelationshipsSexualitySexual IdentityAdvicebadcommunicationfamilyfeelingsgrowthhelpnegativityopening uporal sexparentspositivityrelationshipssexsexualityshametalkingTue, 10 Dec 2013 17:53:53 +0000Sam W6958 at http://www.scarleteen.comWhat could make you more comfortable bringing up sexuality concerns or questions with adults?http://www.scarleteen.com/node/6312
<form action="/taxonomy/term/4618/all/feed?theme=scarleteen_textonly" accept-charset="UTF-8" method="post" id="poll-view-voting">
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<div class="form-radios"><div class="form-item" id="edit-choice-0-wrapper">
<label class="option" for="edit-choice-0"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-0" name="choice" value="0" class="form-radio" /> If I felt sure they wouldn&#039;t be judgemental.</label>
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<div class="form-item" id="edit-choice-1-wrapper">
<label class="option" for="edit-choice-1"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-1" name="choice" value="1" class="form-radio" /> If I knew they&#039;d respect my privacy.</label>
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<div class="form-item" id="edit-choice-2-wrapper">
<label class="option" for="edit-choice-2"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-2" name="choice" value="2" class="form-radio" /> If they seemed more comfortable with/about sexuality themselves.</label>
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<div class="form-item" id="edit-choice-3-wrapper">
<label class="option" for="edit-choice-3"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-3" name="choice" value="3" class="form-radio" /> If they made themselves more available to me.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-4"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-4" name="choice" value="4" class="form-radio" /> If they told me I could ask them.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-5"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-5" name="choice" value="5" class="form-radio" /> If they reacted better when I ask questions or voice concerns.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-6"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-6" name="choice" value="6" class="form-radio" /> If they seemed better educated about sexuality.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-7"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-7" name="choice" value="7" class="form-radio" /> If they wouldn&#039;t assume I was doing things I was asking about.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-8"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-8" name="choice" value="8" class="form-radio" /> If we communicated more often or better about other big things.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-9"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-9" name="choice" value="9" class="form-radio" /> ALL of these things.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-10"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-10" name="choice" value="10" class="form-radio" /> The adults in my life already do a good job: I&#039;m comfortable going to them.</label>
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<label class="option" for="edit-choice-11"><input type="radio" id="edit-choice-11" name="choice" value="11" class="form-radio" /> Something else (tell us in the comments!)</label>
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http://www.scarleteen.com/node/6312#commentsadultscommunicationconcernsguardiansjudgementopening upparentsproblemsquestionssafetysexsexualitytalkingteenthe talktrustworriesyoung peopleThu, 28 Feb 2013 19:07:15 +0000Heather Corinna6312 at http://www.scarleteen.com