Monday, May 7, 2007

Last week ESPN's primary source of breaking news--Mike and Mike In the Morning--informed us that their buddy Mark Schlereth has a new gig. The Big Stinky will be moonlighting as Detective Rock Hoover (a name of his own creation) on Guiding Light, a show older than Philo T. Farnsworth himself.

Stink is set to become the second ESPN television "personality" to crossover into the world of retarded housewives the beautiful people after Stephen A. Smith agreed to a cameo on General Hospital. Now we all know what prompted Smith to make an ass of himself...

...but why would Schlereth stoop to such lows? I can still remember when he was known for being one hardcore motherfucking lineman and know it's come to this?

So, ummm, in the group picture, the one who is second from the left - she's somebody's mother right? Because, seriously, she looks like she's 50 next to those other girls. And, that dress is just tragic.

So Mark Schlereth took too many hits playing football and spent too much time in General Hospital. Realizing that he truly has only One Life To Live, he wanted to live life with Passion and wear a Falcon Crest proudly on his chest.

Of course, he did not leave much of a football Dynasty, better if he would have played for Dallas. He said "I took the role so I can take care of All My Children." And that "I'll be remembered for Generations."

Football like soaps, are like living in Another World and the people involved in both are Bold and Beautiful.

Of course, he also said, "I take life like watching the sands through the hour-glass of times, because so goes the Days of Our Lives. And "I hope that living in Another World will be worth it."

I haven't seen an audience turn on someone like this since the Muppet Show.

WALDORF: That was wonderful!STATLER: Bravo!WALDORF: I loved that!STATLER: Ah, that was great!WALDORF: Yeah, it was pretty good.STATLER: Well, it wasn’t bad…WALDORF: There were parts of it that weren’t very good, though.STATLER: It could’ve been a lot better.WALDORF: I didn’t really like it.STATLER: It was pretty terrible.WALDORF: It was bad.STATLER: It was awful!STATLER & WALDORF: Terrible! Take ‘em away! Bah, BOO!!!