Canada24's club.. Fan fiction Article

On The Block Episode 18

Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: How is everypony doing today?
Audience: Good.
Master Sword: That word is used too often. Not only does it describe the way you're feeling, but it also describes... Ah, forget it.
Tom: Save the screw ups for the bloopers, okay?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: We have a special guest on our show today, and his name is Nocturnal Mirage.
Audience: *Cheering*
Mirage: *Arrives*
Master Sword: Hey, good to see you again.
Mirage: Thanks mate. May I?
Tom: Go ahead.
Mirage: Today's crossover parody, Jack Reacher And The Beanstalk.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Tom Cruise climbs up a beanstalk, and kills people.
Audience: *Laughing*

Helen: We got more reports of the giant attacking our town.
Jack: Are you sure it's not Godzilla?
Audience: *Light laughter*
Helen: I said giant. Not monster.
Jack: Monsters are giants. Ask anyone. *Points at Alex* Hey Alex, is a monster a giant?
Alex: Yes.
Helen: No it's not.
Jack: Yeah it is. More ponies are saying it is, so you're wrong.
Helen: If more ponies said World War 2 never existed, would you believe them?
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: I think you should shut up, and I'm gonna go stop the monster. *Walks away*

Later, Jack got outside, and looked up in the sky.

Jack: If I'm going to stop that monster, I need to get to him. How am I going to do that?

A big seed fell from the sky.

Jack: *Moves out of the way* Predictable. I mean, we are parodying Jack & The Beanstalk.
Audience: *Laughing*

A big beanstalk started growing.

Jack: And now is my cue to climb onto this thing. *Jumps onto a leaf, and begins climbing to the top* I should get there sometime soon.

7 hours later

Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: *Gets to the top of the beanstalk* Okay giant. *Grabs a sniper rifle, and looks around the clouds* Where are you? *Sees a big castle* In there. *Runs to the castle*

9.5 hours later.

Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: Ugh. *Leaning on the door* Why am I so tiny compared to everything else in this world?
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: *Goes into the castle*
Giant: *Sleeping in front of a TV set*
Jack: Hey, giants aren't supposed to have television!
Audience: *Laughing*
Giant: *Wakes up*
Jack: Maybe I shouldn't have said that outloud.
Giant: Fee fi fo fum. I smell.. *Sniffs his hoof* Actually, I don't know what I smell.
Audience: *Laughing*
Jack: *Shoots the giant*
Giant: You're crazy. Miniature bullets won't kill me.
Jack: Then what will?
Giant: Not telling.
Jack: *Runs back to the beanstalk* This is probably going to take another 9, and a half hours!
Audience: *Laughing*
Giant: *Chasing Jack*
Jack: *Losing his balance* Whoa. *Falls through a cloud*
Giant: *Jumps, and chases Jack*
Jack: *Grabs hold of the beanstalk*
Giant: *Grabs the beanstalk, and is below Jack* Wait a minute. Aren't I supposed to be above you?
Jack: Does it matter?
Giant: No.
Jack: Then shut up.
Audience: *Laughing*
Giant: *Loses his footing, and falls*
Jack: Finally. Glad that's over. Can we end this now?

Master Sword: Come on Tom, let's go meet the others.
Tom: Right behind you.
Double Scoop: *Standing on street corner*
Aina: *Runs out of her house*
Sunny: Hey, wait for me. *Flying in the middle of the street*
Saten Twist: *Polishing his chain saw, but stops to go meet the others*
Pleiades: *Arrives at corner*
Mortomis: *Standing next to Double Scoop*
Tom: More ponies!!
Snow Wonder: *Arrives in a brand new Corvette*
Cosmic Rainbow: *Flies from the clouds*
Heartsong: *Climbs out of a manhole*
Annie: *Arrives on a bicycle*
Blaze: *Flies out of a house window, and lands next to Tom*
Sophie Shimmer: *Gets off of a slow moving bus*
Astrel Sky: *Appears out of nowhere with magic*
Sean: *Lands behind Astrel Sky with a parachute*
All: We live together on the block!
Audience: *Clapping*
Announcer: Okay, stop the song! We need to keep this thing rolling.
Audience: *Laughing*

Episode 18: None Of Your Business

Nocturnal Mirage was at Sean's house with Tom, Master Sword, Mortomis, Annie, and Heartsong.

Mirage: How many Playstations do you have?
Sean: Sixteen. That way, when we all play Gran Turismo 6, we can race each other.
Master Sword: No we can't. Split screen mode is for two players only.
Mirage: Are you always an idiot, or are you just having a bad day?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: What he's talking about, is that we can all play online, using these Playstations.
Master Sword: Oh, I get it. Sixteen Playstations, so that we can all play online in the same room. Smart idea.
Sean: I came up with it, so of course it's a smart idea.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: Okay, that wasn't even funny.
Tom: Hey! Don't insult my show!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Fellas, are we gonna play, or what?
Mortomis: I'm tired of hearing you argue all the time. Let's race for crying out loud.
Sean: He's right, we need to race. *Selects his car* I will choose the 1969 Corvette Stingray.
Annie: Regular, or convertible.
Sean: Regular, it's faster.
Mirage: I'm going to take a Nascar Ford Fusion.
Sean: You, and your Fords. That's all you choose in this game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I'm getting the Maserati.
Heartsong: Which one?
Tom: The only one in the game.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: I'm getting a Toyota Supra race car.
Annie: You, and Nocturnal are the only ones that have race cars so far.
Mortomis: I'm gonna choose the Cadillac CTS.
Annie: My car will be the Corvette as well, but a 2009 ZR1.
Heartsong: And I'm using the BMW M4 Safety car.
Tom: What track are we going to use?
Sean: I think we'll race on Special Stage X.
Master Sword: Don't do that. The track is an oval, and it would be perfect for Mirage.
Mirage: Yes, I do have a Nascar after all.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: It wouldn't be perfect for Mirage, because instead of turning left, you'll have to turn right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Special guest stars are not allowed to shout.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Two laps sound okay?
Ponies: Yeah.
Tom: *Looks at the reader* Find out who wins this race in part 5 of this episode. We're gonna start off our skits now, and the first one will be Celebrity Jeopardy, so don't go away.
Audience: *Clapping*

Our cast for this Celebrity Jeopardy skit is

Saten Twist - Alex Trebek (He wears a white wig, a fake white mustache, and his cutie mark has been changed to a game show wheel.)
Sean the hedgehog as himself (He's a famous war hero.)
Double Diamond as French Stewart
and special guest star, Nocturnal Mirage as Tom Selleck

Audience: *Clapping*
Alex: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Before we begin the double jeopardy round, I'd like to remind our contestants once again, to please refrain from using ethnic slurs.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That said, let's take a look at the scores. Sean the hedgehog has set a new jeopardy record with negative $230,000.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: You think you're pretty smart, don't you Trebek? With your dago mustache, and your greasy mane!
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Look! What did I just say about using ethnic slurs?
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: From 3rd Rock From The Sun, French Stewart, in second place with negative $17,000.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
French: *Has his eyes closed. He does this everytime he talks* I'm a late bloomer Alex, and in double jeopardy, I'm gonna bloom.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: *Annoyed* Sure you will. And finally, in his second appearance, Tom Selleck in a commanding lead with 14 dollars.
Tom: Hey. *Points to his podium* Hey, check out the podium. Look at this.
Alex: Mr. Selleck has apparently changed his name to Turd Ferguson.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Yeah that's right. Turd Ferguson, it's a funny name.
Alex: *Very annoyed*
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: great. Let's take a look at the final board. And the categories are

Alex: We'll accept any number. Any number at all. A 1, or a 2, or a 3. Or how about a 4? It's that simple. I know you can do this.

The bell rang, and the contestants ran out of time.

Alex: Let's start with French Stewart who is grinning like an idiot.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: You look pretty sure of yourself. You think you got the right answer?
French: Yes, I'm pretty sure of it Alex.
Alex: Well, all you had to do was write a number, and you wrote, threeve.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
Alex: A combination of three, and five. Very stunning.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And you wagered, Texas with a dollar sign in front of it.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: I'm speechless.
French: No I did not get the answer from anyone else, it all came from Mr. Stewart's noggin.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: That's beautiful.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Mr. Selleck-
Tom: Yeah don't bother, I didn't write anything.
Alex: Good work.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: And finally, Sean the hedgehog. The category was numbers, and you wrote... A letter V.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Well I'll you what my friend..
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: V is a roman numeral, so despite your best efforts, you were able to answer correctly.
Audience: *Laughing*
Alex: Let's see what you wagered. Suck it Trebek.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Laughing*
Alex: That's all the time we have. Thank you very much. I-
Tom: *Goes to Alex, and puts the oversized ten gallon hat on him*
Alex: would you GET THAT OFF ME?!!!?
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*

Coming up next is The Story Of Corporal Agarn

The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Captain Parmenter: Now, as all of you might know, there will be a colonel coming here to inspect the fort. We want everything to look nice.
Corporal Agarn: Should we salute the colonel with the cannon?
Captain Parmenter: Good question, I don't know. Why don't you two practice your salute, while I look at the calender to make sure I have the date right for the colonel's arrival.
Corporal Agarn: Alright Dobbs, Duffy, you know what to do.
Corporal Duffy: *Puts cannonball into cannon*
Corporal Dobbs: *Lights fuse*

When the fuse got to the bottom, the cannon didn't go off.

Corporal Agarn: *Gets angry, and kicks the cannon. The left wheel falls off, and then it shoots the cannonball at Vanderbilt's tower*
Corporal Vanderbilt: *Jumps out of tower*
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: This isn't good. We can't have that during the colonel's visit. Can we?!
Corporal Dobbs: uhh... I think so, and if he doesn't like it, I could play my bugle.
Corporal Agarn: OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: If we don't give a good salute to the colonel, I'm going to go... *Getting angry* On!
Corporal Dobbs: Uh oh, this can't be good.
Corporal Agarn: *His face turns red, and smoke comes out of his ears* A!
Corporal Duffy: We never had this problem on the Alamo.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: *Surrounded by flames because of his anger* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!! *Turns back to normal* Okay, what were we doing?
Audience: *Laughing*

To be continued in another episode.

Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning you Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

Up next, Tom Foolery, and friends continue with their race on Gran Turismo 6.

Nocturnal Mirage, Sean, Tom, Master Sword, Mortomis, Annie, and Heartsong were playing Gran Turismo 6. They were all at Sean's house.

The race was going good so far. Heartsong was in the lead with her BMW M4 safety car.

Sean: You know it's not really a safety car if you keep crashing into us.
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: I have to win, that's the whole point of this game.
Mortomis: But you don't need to crash into us. You f**ked up my Cadillac for no reason.
Heartsong: *Looks at Mortomis' car which has a big dent at the back* What are you talking about? Your car is just fine.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: I'm close to getting first place.
Sean: Stay out of this you Ford loving bastard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: How are you able to keep up with Heartsong? She has a top speed that's much higher then the one on your car.
Sean: She keeps spinning out of control on the turns.
Annie: *Passes Sean*
Sean: Okay, I'm in third now. *Sees Mirage, and Mortomis pass him* Really you two? I swear if one more person passes me-
Master Sword: *Passes Sean* Sorry.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: Now it's time to act like Heartsong.
Mirage: Shit, that can't be good!
Master Sword: Of course it can't be good. She's in first place!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Rams Master Sword's car*
Master Sword: Ah!! *Spins out, and hits Mortomis' car*
Mortomis: F**K! *Spins out, and hits Mirage's car*
Mirage: Ah! *Hits the wall*
Sean: *Passes Master Sword, Mortomis, and Mirage* Pleasure doing business with you.
Audience: *Laughing*
Annie: You can't catch up to me.
Sean: Maybe not, but I did get to 3rd place.
Heartsong: This is the final lap, right?
Sean: Yeah, that's why it says lap 2/2.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: We're on the 2nd, and final lap.
Annie: You have one more turn to make before crossing that finish line.
Heartsong: That's what I was afraid of.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: If you hit the wall-
Heartsong: *Spins out* No, not again!
Audience: *Laughing*
Heartsong: *Hits the wall* Shit.
Annie: *Laughs* I knew that was gonna happen. First place is mine.
Sean: And thanks to you Heartsong, I am now in 2nd place.
Heartsong: *Backing her car up so she can continue racing*
Mirage: Look out!! *Crashes into Heartsong's car*

The others crashed into Heartsong's car, and they caused a pile up.

Annie: First place is mine.
Sean: *Gets second*
Tom: Well, this was almost enjoyable. It would have been better if Heartsong wasn't being retarded.
Audience: *Laughing*

Tom: What's up everypony? You know what time it is, right?
Audience: 4:35 PM.
Tom: Wrong. Well, actually, that's right, but-
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: What I meant was, it's time for bloopers we created during the filming of this episode. Enjoy.

Mirage: How many Playstations do you have?
Sean: Over 9,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*
Director: Cut.
Sean: I have every single Playstation in the world!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Sean: I think we'll race on Special Stage X.
Master Sword: Don't do that. The track is an oval, and it would be perfect for Mirage.
Mirage: Yes, I do have a Nascar after all.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: It wouldn't be perfect for Mirage, because instead of turning left, you'll have to turn right.
Audience: *Laughing*
Mirage: WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!!?
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Special guest stars are not allout, loosjgoijd!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: I can't speak today. I don't know what's going on.

---

Alex: From 3rd Rock From The Sun, French Stewart, in second place with negative $17,000.
Audience: *Laughing, and clapping*
French: *Has his eyes closed. He does this everytime he talks* Alex, I wanna take you from behind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sean: *Cringes* Maybe we oughta give him a better line.

---

French: Uh.... Who is John C- I forgot my line!

Take 2

French: Uh.... Who is John Cowswitch And The Beaver Brown Band? Thank you very much, I'll take animal sounds for 800.
Director: Cafferty!
French: Uh oh. *Opens his eyes*
Director: Keep them closed!!
Audience: *Laughing*

Corporal Agarn: *Gets angry, and kicks the cannon, but it hurts his hoof* OOWWWW!!!!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Mirage: I'm close to getting first place.
Sean: Stay out of this you Ford loving bastard!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: How are you able to keep up with Heartsong? She has a- wait a second. *Looks at his controller* My controller is dead.
Director: Plug it in.
Tom: *Plugs controller into playstation* Let's do this again from the top.